paid purchase

Aged past

2008-12-29T11:43:00.002-06:00

Oh for goodness sakes, this website is such a relic.
It's like fooking back in time at some vague me that used to be.
I wonder why we all think our self is so eternal, it sure seems to change pretty often to me.
Or maybe there is always only one me that is the same and governs everything I do, but the details of how and in what way change every second.
Like culture for a country.
Or our very body itself.
Or the fabric of everything, constantly falling apart as fast as it's remade: everything consistantly changing.

Forgive and Forget

2006-10-02T17:00:00.000-05:00

Hey Secret, I have a secret for you. There has not been 50 years of strong women. There has been 50 years of subdued women; of enslaved women; of women as a commodity.
And yet everybody seems to dissagree and play along with this see-through image of happiness and freedom for all that America continues to spout from it's shit-encircled mouth.
We're the ones eating it.
Everything is great, everything continues forward. Progress keeps climbing up it's mountain until we get so high up that all love and emotion freezes and we die cold and weary.
There is nothing really bad. If there is any conflict we can solve it right now.
There's nothing that resulted from anything in the past that has built upon centuries of hatred or discrimination with a hide so thick it would be nearly impossible to break through.
History has never meant anything.
The future isn't real.

Invasion, what?

2006-07-31T09:03:00.000-05:00

Seeing as the boy never updates, I have made the executive decision to take over for a brief stint of time, informing all interested and perplexed parties of vital information about the the boy's life.

Ok, so not really. But at least we will be able to look at something new instead of the post that the boy randomly decided to actully tap out about three years ago.

Here goes nothing. And ps: ignore any German you may find; it's only a bad habit.

The excursion begins in a week. Packing, obviously, ought to begin today. Es ist mir egal. Instead, we will probably go out of town and goof around. Eventually, however, seriousness will indeed have to set in. There is a room to pack and a small-ish car to try and fit it all in. And, there is a party to be on time for and a country to traverse.

Then rooms to fill and boxes to pack and things to try and organize and coordinate and jobs to try and locate. That, I fear, will probably be the hardest part. But fear not, all will be well (and warm) in sunny so cal... especially with no a/c.

The first on the hunting list is probably coffee or music. Both are equally loveable; both are equally daunting. Life, it seems at times, can be daunting. But this isn't the place for great philosophical discussions on the state of humanity or the resiliance of certain individuals or the collaborative strength in groups. Actually, this isn't even the place for ... well, much of anything in my case (as I'm not actually the author).

So, this should probably come to a close, as I have little else to say and want to resist turning this into some rant of something that will merely work to confuse my (or rather his) audience. Also, as he will wake up sooner or later and it wouldn't be proper form to be caught red-handed, as the saying goes.

Therefore Adieu,
(The Illustrious) RaliKat

Lapse in thought

2006-06-12T22:28:00.000-05:00

So my days of waking up and thinking, "How can I fill this empty day ahead of me?" are over. So my days of equating bright sunshine and warmth as a walking-day are done.
I go downtown to be around people. To be there. Does that make sense?
I go to just be there because it's somewhere.
I wake up to wake up and be alive and when it's a nice day I go and enjoy it and I smell it and I breathe it. And when I'm walking somewhere I feel alive. But not to nowhere, I walk somewhere and I make it there and I've done something today. I went somewhere and I was there and it was a nice place and then I went somwhere else. I tasted this and smelled this and read this and listened to this and saw this. I live sensually: taking advantage of what we can sense and so going out and sensing it.
Ah, but that is momentarily over. I am working. I am getting up at a time that I've been told to get up at and going somwhere to do things that I am told to do.
And it's ok. But eventually I am going to go back to waking up when I feel it and doing what I feel and listening to the world speak in it's various ways.
And I will sow seeds.
And I will tend my garden in peace and watch my seeds grow into beautiful plants.
And be happy.

Ah, the unconventional life.

2006-02-28T00:12:00.000-06:00

"But Widge! You are destined for greatness! It should be so easy for you to succeed! You are so brilliant!"
But, no.
Instead, I will fail by most people's eyes,
I will take the job that doesn't show success,
I will live without the level of routine that a successful man lives,
I will waste away my time with art and creation,

and be so much happier than you.

A sadly dying vehicle

2006-02-13T12:21:00.000-06:00

I think nature has started to pick up on my habits for I was greeted by a warm Japanese chord as I stepped to the porch (The Mad Grabber will know what I mean if he ever reads this).

Today life just makes sense and I seriously think it has to do with my few hours of sleep. It's happened before.

Today I had to take a certain new car back to a certain rather expensive dealership to have it messed with by cerain rather expensive tools (but cheap labor I'm sure). It's a nice color, I'll give it that. Also, the speedometer goes to 160 (using the American scale, I might add) so I can expect that it has a rather nice amount of power, so I'll give it that too.
It was a little awkward going to the front desk of a room filled with desks all facing out in a big corridor of desks so that you walk behind everyone's back as they sit (at their desks) with their headsets talking to hopefully prospective customers but throwing glances at you as you walk because, with a headset, you are not as tied down and, I find, tend to look about the room or at other things. I wish I could have thrown "desk" in that sentence a couple more times. Anyway, it was a little awkward going to the front desk of said room and asking for who turned out to be the manager and walking past all the little desky people straight to the back to the "man in charge" but that was my biding. More awkward was my choice of aged clothing. Revolver t-shirt and written-on pants? Silly me. You don't go to a Bent- whoops I mean, a certain rather expensive dealership in those kind of clothes. Everyone else wears suits and ties and holds a cell phone to their face between chatting to the salesmen/women.
And then I was taken to the "lounge" with orange modern leather chairs but with a certain neo-classical feel what with the persian influenced rug (although it may have been Victorian influenced, my art history knowledge is rather vague) and definately European carved coffee bar. Yes, complimentary coffee, as most dealerships are apt to offer. But not "pour it yourself!" pots of regular and decaf. And not even exiting flavored coffee.
Espresso.
Served by attractive and young European women, no doubt hired for mostly just those descriptors.
I think to myself, "What the hell am I doing in a place like this?" and this thought is only compounded when I have this urge to get up and tap the vacuuming girl on the shoulder, pass off the cafe latte, relieve her of her vacuum, and continue the job myself.
When finally the keys to my long forgotten "little, red shit-box" (a phrase which, ironically, contains more reminiscence of the Little, Red Schoolhouse Nature Preserve than something negative) arrived, I was pointed in the direction of the porsche lot. "Right there between the porsches. See it?"
"Yeah, it's the only crappy one, got it."
And yet upon reaching the car, unlocking the door, plopping my stuff on the seats, and turning it on: oh heavenly joy! I found myself delighted once again with its handling, its responsiveness, its sounds, its smell.
Taking it to an old favorite diner was bliss. The drive was unlike any drive I have driven in what seems like many driving years, although it probably is only less than one year because I was only just recently having to drive it all over the place. How is it that I could have forgotten what joy the "little, red shit-box" gave me? Could it be that the loud-stereo, power locks, power windows, eight cylinder carrying beast that is my hypocritical bane had lured me into complacency? Ah but, the ease of travel, the comfort within, the amenities!
And yet, after many months of driving it, a few hours of driving an old, beat-up, amenity-less car proved so much more satisfactory.
Like making my own meal versus going out and buying one (yeah, you like how I tied in the last post? Booya.)
But my satisfaction will be shot down unless I have the faith of the widow of Zarephath (maybe some of you will know what I mean).
If I don't, the I lament the loss.
Both in possesion and in character.

Foolish me

2006-02-07T22:44:00.000-06:00

Why do I go out to eat when I can make such pleasant dishes at home for cheaper?

Start with spinach fettucini. Add some garlic-roasted alfredo sauce and some stir-fried red, yellow, and orange peppers and mix it all up. Garnish it with some dried romano, parmesean, whatever-suits-your-fancy cheese and a couple of peices of whole wheat bread (Hot chocolate powder, tomatoe, or lime not used).
Seriously, readers, make sure to poke and prod me about doing this more often for I would be a fool not to.

Enjoy your childhood while you can

2006-01-18T01:01:00.000-06:00

No, Brandon, you are talking about infatuation. I understand why they say, "High school never ends."
Right now, in a college class, we are getting our pictures taken and having to say where we are from and what our greatest fear is to everyone.
I think maybe I can't do school well because I am always judging how well I'm being taught. Maybe I should do that as a job.
Why do we insist that the cart drag the horse along the road?
Colleges want to offer varied programs to their prospective students because the education system, in true capitalist form I might add, is a competitive feild. But then, instead of what capitalism enthusiasts claim happens, competition does not yeild awesome results. Instead, the schools, in an attempt to keep with paying their increasingly large bills, take whoever they can to fill the positions the programs require, regardless of if that person is really the best suited.
And then you get to sit in a class and be read power point presentations.
Competition pushes people to cut corners, settle for cheap imitations, and just cheat over all in order to make sure that they come in on top.
And sure, if people kept integrity, maybe this wouldn't be an issue. But because the majority don't, if you do, you get fucked.
Happy birthday future generations.

Poor uncultured America

2006-01-08T23:28:00.000-06:00

I like how we in America claim that we don't have a culture all to our own or that our lack of culture is the culture. I think it is this supposed lack of culture that drives us to try and "experiment" with many other well-defined cultures' cuisine. Indian, Asian, Italian, and even Ethiopian. But we know rather commonly that what we call "Chinese food" isn't. Neither is Thai, Japanese, or any other Asian food we like to eat with chopsticks and in little bowls. Nor is Italian food really Italian food, and that I can claim pretty assuredly, seeing as I went. It's more like the people who start these restaurants only use the "Chinese" or "Italian" or whatever as a basis for a few ingredients or the staple (rice, semolina, noodles, nan, etc.) and then make something that actually just appeals to the people in the area.
I'm not saying anything new here, I've heard it a bunch of times. But then why do we deny that we have our own culture and taste and general area of things that appeal to our tastes? If not, what are the restauranteers aiming for? Why don't they just make the food the same way they would back in China / Italy / Greece / etc. "where they came from" because we also all know that ethnic restaurants are operated by people from the area the food is claiming to be from?
"Growing up with a lack of culture in America": I've heard that a bunch of times too. Maybe other countries, in Europe or Africa for instance, notice their unique culture because of their close relations to other countries with different cultures. With France being right next to Germany and having warred against them most of the time they've existed, clear definitions in the two countries cultures start to form. Maybe if America paid more attention to the huge difference it has to other countries clear definitions would form for its culture.
Not even! Just think about the different regions of the country. The South has its own culture surrounding it, the East coast has its own, California has two (NoCal and SoCal), Washington and Oregon have their own as well. How many have I missed? You can pick them out yourself without much thought.
How is this a lack of culture? More like we are brimming with it.

2005-12-06T11:10:00.000-06:00

Remember Andrew? Well he has an interesting childhood too.
Andrew's father was the richest person of his time and everyday Andrew's father would give him money: always enough to feed himself with and save a little with to buy monthly costs. But not only did the money fufill his routine needs, there was also always a small portion that Andrew didn't need. So Andrew saw that there were other children without fathers as rich as his so he used this last little bit to help out people around him. Now Andrew had many brothers and sisters and, at first, they all followed Andrew's example and their town flourished with abundance because of Andrew's family's generosity.
One day, Andrew's father went out on a business trip. Before he left he showed his wife where he kept the fortune and gave her careful instructions as to how to portion it out to their children. Then he said goodbye to his family and left.
At first, his wife was just as warm and generous as he and the town continued to prosper. But one day as she looked at her meager attire and her modest decor she thought to herself, "I am the wife of the richest man in the world: I should look better than this."
And so she began to give less money to her children and began saving up for silk curtains on the windows, new paint for the walls, new dresses to wear in public and new cars and new everything. Everything was glamorous and everything shined in the bright sun. Soon she thought to herself, "If I look this glamorous and my children look like beggars on the street, what will people think of me?" and she began demanding that her children buy the nicest clothes and keep in with the latest fashions. Soon her children realised that with their mother giving her less each day and them having to spend what they did get on expensive clothes, they would have to get jobs to support themselves, which they did.
Except Andrew. Andrew refused to buy nicer clothes with his money and instead gave the same amount he always gave to the people around him and used what was left to squeeze a living out. He was eating barely anything at all when his mother called to him one day, "Andrew, you look terrible," she said.
"I haven't much to eat these days," he replied.
"Well, my dear boy," his mother said, "you'd do well to get yourself a job. You will need one when you are out on your own. I can't keep you in this house any longer. You are bringing down the image I am trying to maintain. As wife of the richest man in the world, I can't have a dirty child living in my house. Goodbye."
And with that he was out on the streets.

And, within a few weeks, he was in the sorry state you met him in.

I am leaking all over

2005-11-04T10:24:00.000-06:00

You know, I've never had a single pill that helps with my sinus allergies. But that's ok, I don't like taking pills anyway.
It has nothing to do with the horse-chokingly large pills or the "dead person" flavor*.
It's more the medieval-person-in-the-modern-world-"Dear-Lord-what-are-these-rolling-iron-beasts-and-magical-boxes-with-people-in-them?!" thing.
Anyway, due to my lack of proper medication, my sinuses are, as usual, commiting their year- wait, monthly suicide. Maybe the intermitant peace I get is when they've succeeded in snuffing it (no pun intended) and my body is regenerating new "snot pockets" (a pocket of snot, good to go!).
Damn my sinuses. Damn them so hard.

*Cemetary Fresh! One of three new flavors! Try out: "Cat Bladder" and "Laundry Detergent" Available today!!

Happy Halloween

2005-10-31T23:19:00.000-06:00

too much expense

2005-10-13T13:21:00.000-05:00

Is it wrong of me to think the "online disaster training module" for Red Cross is laughable and mostly useless?
Honestly, I want to help already, you don't have to set up attacks on my sympathy.
Anyway, so I'm going to see about getting down to New Orleans because I got really annoyed at the idea that I am just lazily comfortable up here and there are a lot of people dying down there.
Also because I was disgusted by a rather rich mall while in "Talbots" seeing trousers for ~$80 and jackets for ~$100 and shirts for ~$50 and by expensive (admittedly tasty) food at a rich restaurant with rich smiling laughing people.
If someone who reads this has good advice about ways to help out down there (as in actually going) they can give some of that info if they so please (hint hint Jessica, I think you would know this kind of thing).
On a side note (I do this too often), money sucks because even when you are just spending it on necessity you will run out eventually.
I enjoy "I Love Huckabees" too much.

"It's okay."

2005-10-11T15:08:00.000-05:00

It's scary enough when you haven't done anything to necessitate forgiveness. But when you need it from people who don't like you, there's not much hope.

great, now I look real responsible

2005-10-11T13:44:00.000-05:00

Damn you Denver.
Damn you and your damn October snow.
You took the only day of the week that I was wanting to really do my best in and destroyed it.
Now I have to feel guilty and hope that I will be forgiven. I'm on a short leash with these people as is, Denver, do you want me to be unaccepted?
You've got some explaining to do.

Anyway, as a side note, I think airports should make their arrival pickup loop as big as possible, like a 15 minute loop, so that when you are waiting to pick someone up you don't go insane from going around it fifty times stuck behind the same 2 mph going sap.

Blessings

2005-10-10T15:23:00.000-05:00

These past few weeks I've been at my old high school academy, being a general helping hand or helping mind as the need dictates.
9-5 with no pay for using my talents as best I can in a place I love with people I love.
How could I do better?

Creation, Destruction

2005-09-22T14:55:00.000-05:00

I don't want half of what I have. But the question is: will I take it with me anyway only so that someone else isn't hurt that I don't use their gift?
Can't we just forgoe our emotional attachment to things? It would make having to pack so much easier.

2005-09-03T08:57:00.000-05:00

So there's this guy. Let's call him Andrew. Ok, so he's hungry and in debt and on the streets and looking all mopey when a guy comes up, we'll call him Nathan. So Nathan looks at him and his heart is moved. So he goes out and buys Andrew a fish, gives it to him, and leaves with a word of blessing. Andrew eats it gratefully and is happy for a bit.
But the next day he is hungry again and still in debt. So this time he thinks, Why don't I learn how to fish so I can get fish everyday? So he goes down to the dock and sees a guy walking back from his boat with a bucket full of fish. We'll call him Chandler. So Andrew goes up to him and says, "Can you teach me how to fish?" And Chandler takes a look at him and laughs, "You? Look at your phisique! Your arms are way too weak. But I suppose you could work out or something. What about your pole? Do you even have a pole?"
"Well no but I-"
"No no, that's definately a must. And if you want to catch anything good you had better get a Bassmaster Pro 185. It's probably the best pole out on the market. Anything else just isn't worth using."
Chandler looked him up and down, "Look, it's nice that you want to learn to fish but I just don't think you are made to. You'd do better to learn to pick up people's garbage or do janitorial work or something. I mean, maybe years and years from now you might have enough money."
So Andrew thanked him for being honest and left the dock to go back to where he was sitting because he knew he would never have enough money to get a nice rod or a boat and so he gave up on that idea.
Soon after that a young girl came up to Andrew. We'll call her Wendy.
"I saw you asking that guy: you want to learn to fish?" she said.
"Yea, well I did, but I don't have the money really."
"What? Don't be ridiculous." and so she spent the rest of the day with Andrew crafting a small rod and they went out near the docks and fished and she showed him all the tricks and techniques. And then the next day Wendy came back and fished with Andrew all day again.
And everyday after that in fact.

mind and body

2005-08-31T10:07:00.000-05:00

Lately I have been trying to expand my musical library. 6 cds in 2 days? You might say I'm suceeding but it is really only 3 new bands.
Ugh, music is such an issue.
If I ever record stuff I don't think I would feel comfortable asking for money for it because art should be free and why should I be paid for things I love to do?
But I will (albiet grudgingly) pay for cds in the store and don't even like getting them free off file-sharing networks. I do want to support bands but I don't feel like a musician should expect support.
Whatever happened to having practical skills and letting that be your job?
I feel so cheated: no one taught me how to fix things around the house or even how a house works, no one taught me how to garden, no one taught me how to fix a car, no one taught me anything physical.
I have been taught to think and explain and reason and love.
But what am I supposed to do?

Role call

2005-08-16T20:26:00.000-05:00

I'm really not in the mood to post. I am tired, bitter, cranky, and feeling humid and gross right now. So less than anything is my need to post right now. But I am going to inflict myself upon you anyway.
Actually I just want to ask who reads this. So when you read this post either comment in the thing or send me an email if you don't know how to comment. I just am curious to see.

I am in trouble...

2005-08-09T06:48:00.000-05:00

Omigosh my room is halfway decently organized! Freak out immediately!
Now if the charger for my camera would miraculously reappear like...right now on my back as I lay here typing-
*waits*...nothing
-then I could take a picture of it and show your disbelieving eyes the truth! Don't doubt! It only leads to fear. And we know fear leads to anger. And anger leads to hate. And hate....leads to suffering!
So don't doubt me when I say if you had ever seen a room of mine in the past and you saw this one you would either be completely astounded or slightly bemused depending on how you take suprising things. Also, if you had seen my room at Broadview senior year you probably wouldn't be amazed as I think that was my greatest accomplishment at room organizing. Even if I did steal the desk idea from Oscar. I perfected it!!
But this room, aside from lacking a place to put a few random items now on my bed as well as my awesome autographed guitar, it has things neatly (I stress this) put away.
<inside joke>a-............astounding.</inside joke>
Anyway, today I have to get a haircut (blegh) and also enact my devious, daring, and brilliant plan. It will involve money and, I am assuming, paitience. But time and money well spent I believe.
SO after yet another night of little / no sleep, I must be off to busybee about!
bzzzzzzz

breaking radio silence

2005-08-08T06:19:00.000-05:00

My quiet two weeks is nearly at an end! And in the final few moments a few smatterings of contact appear only to further fuel my exitement. I am as giddy as a silly schoolboy. How utterly ridiculous.
Once again I have stayed up the night. But hey, it's mostly because I stayed up the last night and then slept until 5pm. So it doesn't count: I'm on a normal schedule just transposed.
GMT +12.00
My guitar freshly strung, I have written two new songs, complete with words and everything! And I've decided that one of my older songs needs Avi's cello playing to add to the mood. That will take me actually recording the song though and that will be all of infinite days to wait through.
My camera battery still dead, I haven't taken any new pictures. After the trip to Seattle I swear I could have killed anyone who mentioned my lack of camera. Not that anyone ever mentioned me not having a camera, but I'm sure if someone did I would have been pissy with them. Plus you poor readers here at PP don't get to see my latest door sign. I know, I know: your favorite treat.
Speaking of coffee, I could really go for a cup before my eyelids decide to revolt.
No more words
/span

speak up, you, I'm a little hard of hearing

2005-07-21T11:13:00.000-05:00

Years of listening to music at full blast and singing along, sometimes playing guitar along loud enough to hear over said music, coupled with the fact that my right ear basically points directly at the hole of the guitar, has finally caught up with me.
Maybe I'm being paranoid and I have a simple ear infection, but those hurt a lot right? What about when your ear just keeps ringing and is muffled?
I thought maybe it was earwax build up or something else but I can't keep fooling myself that I have had earwax build up for the past few months, off and on.
It's ok if I'm right though, I expected it. It's not like I could get away with enjoying music that much.

Reluctant Air Travel

2005-06-30T07:23:00.000-05:00

As you may notice, I have finally finished reading The Idiot by Fyodor Dostoevsky (if you care to know, it was sad and tragic as well as depressingly plausible to boot).
I did this in the first leg of my sadly obligatory journey back to the non-home of Chicago. Which was unfortunate because it turned out that I had another 6 hour long leg still to go. And Peg ran out of juice after the first hour of that.
Speaking of Peg, while she was still good and running I finally listened to and liked the new Coldplay X&Y. Not that I didn't expect it, it just finally happened. But as to specifically the title track X&Y, I was half asleep and half day-dreamed half night-dreamed that I was in a little plane that flew into a billboard and I fell to the ground as the burning fuselage floated about me, watching some guy scream to his death a little in front of me. All the while the chorus of X&Y playing, somehow eerily appropriate sounding: enough to make me not afraid at all but more completely absorbed with the feeling of it all.
I swear I'm not morbid.
It's not like during my trip to Portland I considered how perfect it would have been if the plane crashed because I was talking with the people to either side of me and had made a lame connection. Psh, what do you take me for? Some sort of...morbid person?
Also, if you've ever been in a plane on the runway while it is bucketing rain outside tell me you weren't extremely concerned for a brief instant as creepy white smoke poured in from the walls and ceiling.

Staying up til 7am is the way to go!

2005-06-30T07:04:00.000-05:00

Don't you stay up til 7am? Why not? Are you sick?
If you have DSL/Cable/anything not dialup I would highly reccomend seriously considering buying a microphone for your computer and getting rid of your phone. MSN or Skype does the same thing but FOR FREE.
I bet you feel like a sucker now. Having paid for your phone service. Psh, chump.
The next form I have to fill out that asks for my home phone number I am totally going to put in my Skype user name.

"I just want to enjoy myself"

2005-06-12T18:41:00.000-05:00

he says as a myriad of flies beat against the window, longing for a chance at feasting on the rot, teasingly close, sitting inside with a smile.

(see the original writing)

"What not to say on a first date"

2005-06-02T22:13:00.000-05:00

Who honestly needs to be told not to discuss "kink" on the first date? Who would want to all of a sudden leap into a discussion of how eating apricot jelly out of someone's toes totally turns you on...with a stranger at that.

love

Oh yeah, you've totally got a chance now, buddy. And even if she's into it and you do have one, the fact still remains that youre both sex-craving maniacs.
I swear, America is just one big, horny teenager.

(this was in response to an article in a newspaper telling what not to say on a first date)
(see the original writing)

Shine: the weather's fine

2005-05-31T21:57:00.000-05:00

Let's all be comfortable in our yards. Get a tan under the sun, but when it gets too hot, pop up the deck umbrella, we'll sit in the shade and read magazines. Drop crumbs from our coffee cake and nurse a cup of "joe". Wipe our lips and lean back in purest bliss.
Let's all think back. How long did it take? Did you go through college? What was your degree? Did you do well? 4.0 average? At least close? Ha.
What was your first job? Did you work hard at it? I bet you did, you're sitting in that garden now, surveying your domain with pride. Pride well earned, friend, pride well earned. Moved up the corporate ladder fast I'll bet! Took off like a streak, took oppurtunities, took the time, took what you saw in front of you.
And now, after how many hard years?, you sit and relax! Don't stop! you've earned it. Time well earned, friend, time well earned.
You've spent 30+ years of your life clawing at monetary and materialistic gain and you've used it all to furnish and decorate and perfect your little kingdom so you can worry no more.
Until someone from outside comes knocking. As long as they don't tread mud on your floor, they're fine. But if so much of a speck of their dirt gets about they had better watch it: you'll release the hounds so fast they won't know what hit them. No lower class belong in your kingdom. The damned lazy bastards. Trying to live off of your hard-earned joy, your hard-earned pride. Have they no shame? Don't they have any drive to succeed? Any-
No, no, forget it. They are out there and of their own doing: sit back in your palace and relax. There you go:
Ahh, forget all those lonely people.

Deviously Annoying

2005-05-24T05:08:00.000-05:00

Well, I finally have gotten a DeviantART account.
Yep...
I could blab on about how I feel now or what I think about DeviantART so far or something, but I care too much about your poor neurons. There's already Emo on the radio to deal with, you don't need some college kid who just likes taking pictures of stuff writing tomes about his inner feelings or insecurities. If you want that, search through blogger or LiveJournal for a bit; I'm sure something will come up satisfying enough for ya.
I'm supposed to be in bed. "Ah but," you say, "you ARE in bed, Mssr!" (you say Mssr. because you are inevitably French. Or you are trying to sound extra cultured. Kudos). Anyway you say I am already in bed and, shock and suprise!, I am. But I was referring to that state of being that when one is in, one says one is "in bed". I was not being literal, silly you!
You take me too seriously!
...
I have every right to be entirely ridiculous like this: it's 5AM and I haven't gotten enough sleep.
Break! I need a break! Give me a break!
*hums the KitKat theme song*

40,000 feet

2005-05-22T15:50:00.000-05:00

Once again, my meal arrives first and suffers only in that its cookies are aimed at the more health oriented. Touting "6 Granen-Cereals" and "Al het goede van de volle graankorrel."
So the cookies are from Germany and the pizza; a 4 inch monster consisting of mainly crust with a light touch of sauce; centered and encased in cheese; hails directly from the pizza capitol of the wor- well, at least the USA; Chicago.
But she's lying, it's her "seat-side" manner; I know: pizza like this would be afraid to show it's thick and warmthless face anywhere near the great barons of pizzery in Chicago.
At least they aren't out of Coke yet.
Hit me, I almost fell asleep back there watching the icebergs float by as some pop pianist played Träumerei by Schumann.
I would have been watching "A Day on the Planet" or "In Good Company" but it seems only the Japanese get that honor.
And the most interesting pick would definately have to have been "What the Bleep Do We Know?"
But according to the guiding inflight entertainment magazine, no one gets to watch that. They just like taunting us more intellectual and artistic types with brilliant sounding films before going, "Ha ha! Just Kidding! Instead of a 'part documentary, part story, part elaborate series of special effects...film that blurs the lines between traditional film genres...' here's 'Racing Stripes'! And 'The Notebook'! Woo!...Nah we're just kidding again: here's 'About a Boy', you'll love that."
Don't make me have to open this lost-lunch bag and ruin this post.
Yes, I don't have paper readily available, so I improvise.
Although Miss "Real Chicago Pizza!" probably would have gotten me some had I asked nicely. Oh well.
Dammit, my ice is melting.

(see the original writing)

For Sale:

2005-05-16T04:41:00.000-05:00

18; male; in the 5 foot range, nearer to 6 than not; nice healthy brown hair but unkempt, long and with a beard; brown eyes; not perfect physical condition, has had some wear and tear, has a small gut, not much arm strength; wears bracelets, a wooden cross necklace, sometimes draws on hand, is going to have a tatoo of a cross on left thumb; can play guitar decently, not as much into actual writing of music but is improving in that; writes poetry, rumblings, thoughts, things; has read many books both classical and modern, is reading many books currently, and has a long list of books still planning to be read, reads quickly but in short bursts (like sprinting), loves to read aloud for people; listens to tons of music, prefers things with some sort of musical quality but if it is exiting and/or entertaining then will probably like it, often sings along to get the full force of the feeling; enjoys talking about nearly everything but will not gossip, discusses things until is not confused by it anymore, loves to help people understand things that he believes he understands, tries to please people within limits, prefers people laughing and happy to grave and serious but can handle it, will be open and social with people he has known for a while but can't be like that with strangers so is instead friendly and curteous, fears insulting people; requires some form of physical comfort but doesn't like to be phsyical with people he does feel something for due to correlations between physicality and love in his mind; believes love is the most important thing, the main focus that all should have; has studied basic comparative religions including Buddhism, Judaism, and Muslim, the Roman Empire and why it fell, has made some conclusions about the transition between the last great empire in the West and current Europe, knows a bit of American history, but none of the previous with enough knowledge to have watertight arguments; focuses on the beauty of things and aesthetics; enjoys nature (long walks on the beach and strolls through the woods); above all requires decent social interaction not only for enjoyment but because talking helps to formulate ideas into language; stays up late and sleeps in 'til noon; for further information contact Aaron Altman at fateduel[at]hotmail.com

There you go, you fucking world, what am I worth to you?
Oh really? That much?
Well guess what. You're too fucking late, I've already been boughten.
You can't have me. I don't fucking care if you want me or not.
So you need to back the fuck off from me because:
I belong to God: to Love
So, so much for your "tempting" calls of money and material riches, I'm not interested. You can shove whatever shit you want in my face but I'm not going to pay attention anymore.
So really, for your own sake, try to forget me.

PS: people who live in this world: don't worry; I wasn't talking to you. I was using a literary technique called personification. Fancy, no?

$3,525.67

2005-04-27T19:39:00.000-05:00

And here I thought I was doing this as a colossal waste of time. I thought I was simply blabbing on and on about nothing.
Random thoughts typed out for anyone's interest.
But no, my blog does not simply sit there doing nothing but possibly make people laugh or think; no longer!
Some clever entreprenuer has realised my blog's vast potential for fake money.
Brilliant.

A junk email I recieved

2005-04-27T01:33:00.000-05:00

Suley and me, we don't dig the yoga. I know everybody's all about the yoga tape tended to be the belly dancing ones -- hip circles, rib circles -- so maybe that will be belly butter. Inevitably, you will lick it, and it will be belly butter. Cocoa butter tastes nothing like cocoa or butter, by the end of this. Oh, and I got the video recommended by several of you guys have a favorite? Me (holding up orange paint chip): " evilegg says we should paint Suleiman's room this color." Tad (sarcastically): "Oh, well if evilegg says it, then obviously we should do it right away!" Me: "And wyckhurst agrees." Tad: "Oh! Great! Let's let those two make our decisions from now on! Next thing you know, we'll be living in the car and drive there and get one. Of course, that made Tad all proud because "he's so strong." Yeah, and guess what? On vegetarian food, buddy! Suley demanded protein, so he wasn't as grouchy about being disturbed. He's still obviously the handsomest baby in the day so he wasn't as grouchy about being disturbed. He's still obviously the handsomest baby in the car and drive there and get hush puppies and slaw and a pickle I stole from Bill) and suddenly I realized I *had* to have a Swiss Cake Roll and wondering if it was later in the Star-off Machine with the Sneetches!" I just had a big salad with boiled eggs, two kinds of cheese and creamy dressing. Envy us! We went to Babies R Us and looked around, ascertaining one important fact: tape tended to be supermom. My main motivation is pure stinginess. I hear from kitsch_witch sounded great. Then I fled in terror. Add it to the day. He was moving and squirming but not as aggressively as the 12-week ultrasound, probably because it was later in the day so he and I got into the turn lane and signaled right. And, when I went out today, I had to jump in the Star-off Machine with the Sneetches!" I just had a big salad with boiled eggs, two kinds of cheese and creamy dressing. Envy us! We went to Babies R Us and looked around, ascertaining one important fact: We don't plan to shop at Babies R Us. Why? We don't plan to shop at Babies R Us. Why? We don't know. Weird vibe, high prices, stuff we can't imagine wanting or needing. wardrobe - and it shows However, you can show some restraint. You love good deals. Your love of the clearance rack has paid off... You probably have only maxed out card or two, if at all! Are You a today....but none that we will have John Deere garters on all the time. not much going on. met up with mike in wausau today...we hung out...enjoyed the weather...went and saw Dodgeball. it gets a rating of 'meh' from me. although...it does win the Stanley Cup E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial is the top of the times. after dinner mike and i went to see her face, she would lick her toothless mouth when talkign about the hot guys, rub her hands together excitedly....this poor guy with a new thing he learned in class that we could play bingo at the casino...turns out they have it in the best situations. your last entry was greaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat. i feel sorry for you and brian found something to do! we'll go out next week or something. jmen i put my foot down. he said you have to work and got a big kids meal with a spiderman toy that looks like a sperm cell. i'm going to talk mike into going to be a duck...mike and i went to the top or something and use it to expand the possibilities of summertime laziness. a man came into osco today, told me that marlon brando died, and then did a really great impression of him... safe_risk made me the money if he was going to blow them up...just keep them as a momento of the US charts Cheers , Family Ties , Silver Spoons , and Fame premiere What Happened the Year You Were Born? More cool things for your blog at Blogthings so i wave back... then i realize it was just hot out and play i think i have funny stories from work i just want to know who did it. ....i mean. i liked it a lot) he gave me a brownie'. and he was cooling off.) speaking of symbolic animals....we spent a good half hour...then a helicopter The 'Garden State' soundtrack. Good stuff - to go get eric from work & look for my house key in our car... argh, another concert missed. i better not miss the mum concert on the floor instead... but i came back to work at 7 in the "your message part that you want to vote for her here just put a valid e-mail and write in the near future. hmmmm... it has been a very long time since i really wanted to get a job so that i can think to say that everyone will be a different amount for anyone who works a shift that is looking for a month without being does anyone know someone that is looking for a place to live in a battle of the bands competition and while her music is good enough to win on it's own, you should be nice and vote for her here just put a valid e-mail and write in the "your message part that you want to vote for her song "king pin", which you can listen to here my car is still undrivable right now. i've been waiting for! 36 minutes of wonderful sounds! now i need to fill it relatively soon. i found this scottish website that does age morphing on photos to predict what people might look like after blah amount of years. they have this sample java appelet & alow you to upload your face & alter it to different looks, like "baby", "afro-carribean", & a few plants for him/her, & maybe a rock or two, make some sort of background for the workload, but i came home & the convention. well, i will be making at least two days before it is due. i would have started it then, but i need to be working from noon to midnight, and then i'll be able to take care of bocca & go to work. What Egyptian Deity are you? go to: the quiz! "You're Amun. Amun was known as the hiding god, sometimes to the lack of responses to my math so that i missed the mice parade concert on the floor instead... but i have fought back nearly all of the hair that once invaded my face. but i do not know how much longer my forces can keep it at bay... on a completly different subject, which some people will not care about, alex has finally completed an entire anime series on dvd. i speak of course of NieA_7, which is wonderful, even though nothing really happens... i also found out/remembered that i share with two others tim & shareef and i'm pretty sure i mispelled his name. well, it's now midnight & i have to purchase an album to make up for it... that's all that goes on at the copyroom, which i'm overjoyed about: "Suffice to say that everyone will be making at least $7/hour or more. The weekend differential will no doubt be very useful and i'll be back to the does anyone know someone that is looking for a month without being broke. night snack and a nick at night cosby show marathon. sadly it seems that japanese is full, i probably won't be able to take care of bocca & go to work. What Egyptian Deity are you? go to: the quiz! "You're Amun. Amun was known as the hiding god, sometimes to the point of being considered invisible. While you might have your talents, you prefer to keep them to yourself. You created yourself, and you remain scared... sort of... i finally got to see the royal tenenbaums! what a wonderful movie. i've got internet access at home... yeehaw. hmmmm... i was about to write about my trip last month to a-kon in dallas, which i found boring and somewhat scary, but that's just about all i can get more. tomorrow i plan on calling to find out about that job as a video editor. *yawn* i am too tired to sew pants... my cat is knocking stuff off my counter space. she is hyper, i am tired, hear me snore. hola, i have fought back nearly all of the hair that once invaded my face. but i might look really strange doing that... i was bored. and now i'm going to drive down to college station to pick up my friend rick & in return i get miyazaki films. this is good. i only
----------------------------------------------
This delights me in so many ways.
I will give cookies to whoever can decipher it by correctly reorganizing it into coherant thoughts.
(I'm serious)

all is fair

2005-04-24T15:26:00.000-05:00

I have realised recently that I don't breathe right. I take tiny, bated breaths and wait for my brain to hurt from lack of oxygen before my instinctual survival programming kicks in and I take heavy and deep sighs to compensate. My chest's pressure goes down too low and it hurts. The cage will lose its structural integrity and collapse in on itself, crushing my poor heart in the process. And the blood will never stop flowing.
I heard you had a sense of humor, but it's not funny God, stop laughing.

>.<

2005-04-03T22:35:00.000-05:00

there is no silence says:
congragulate me i finally managed to get myself to watch Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
there is no silence says:
and, fancy that, it makes 3rd on my prestigious list of favorite movies
there is no silence says:
Im actually tempted to move it higher on the list, bumping Amelie and even High Fidelity down but thats such a shocking and dramatic response that it makes me uneasy so i'll leave it at the much more reasonable "3rd place"
there is no silence says:
but yea...it was good...
there is no silence says:
haunting is my one word to describe it
there is no silence says:
for about an hour afterward my mind was so blank and shocked and...i dont quite know how to describe it, but anyway, it was so whatever it was that i went outside in the hopes of climbing a tree and just sitting for the rest of the day
there is no silence says:
unfortunately the trees were all barren, and those that werent are simply not for climbing
there is no silence says:
so i wandered around the campus trying to find somewhere peaceful and separate but there simply isnt anything to beat a tree
there is no silence says:
although a rooftop would have done ok, and i found one, then attempted to climb up top of it
there is no silence says:
but as i stepped carefully on the metal/tin shed roof it cracked slightly so after less than an instant's consideration I got back off
there is no silence says:
and right as i had someone walked past, so the area wasnt really removed enough
there is no silence says:
i had to settle for the student center where i spent the rest of the time up until about 6 staring off into space trying to remember anything
there is no silence says:
but limiting myself to only pictures, no words
there is no silence says:
its not as easy an exercise as one might think
there is no silence says:
for the most part i invent images in my head when i "remember" something because I'm really mainly text based. Pictures that float by are actually reproductions, interpretations, they simply happen to be very near correct.
there is no silence says:
this time however, after a few failed attempts, i managed to actually *see* in memorium little stolen scenes from my room
there is no silence says:
my old room i mean, the one that i havent seen since freshman year, where my dad used to live
there is no silence says:
and it shocked me so much I cried and then lost the moment, being quite unable to reproduce the effect afterwards
there is no silence says:
morale of the story: eternal sunshine of the spotless mind is good
there is no silence says:
alternate (and albiet more interesting) morale: remembering clear images of the past is painful but in an odd nostalgic way
there is no silence says:
...those should both be "moral"

fo shizzle

2005-04-02T01:27:00.000-06:00

This has to be one of the funniest things I've seen.
Gizoogle - Fo all you beotches who anna find shiznit
And this is what the site does.

Me = officially traveled out

2005-03-30T00:01:00.000-06:00

Ok, it's been long enough for you all to be going through withdrawl symptoms from my blessed words. I should probably write another post.
And aren't you lucky, it won't be about nothing!
I just had the luxury of Spring Break pass me by in 10 days, 10 hectic at first, later relaxing days.
Morroco is not like Europe. First theres the big thing of it not being in Europe. That's a start. Eerily enough, French was spoken quite readily there. And it was that dichotomy that plagued my mind for the first half of my spring break trip.
v v *insert relative picture here* v v

We wound our way through the streets, or alleyways if you prefer much more accurate description; alleyways so thick with vendors of cheap and useless crap that you couldn't breathe.

Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to imply that Morroco was filled with cheap and useless crap or that Morroco in anyway is cheap or useless. But it occured to me sometime after the "ninja henna artist" of the main square branded my hand with a scorpion against my will and demanded payment from first me then (after I lied about the contents of my wallet) my friend, that tourism is a vicious creature.
After I first realised that the woman was simply poor and needed money, my orange burning scorpion of anger became the orange burning scorpion of shame. And what better place to have it than on the back of my hand.
Perfect. (ps: it has since faded away)
Anyway, after the shame of myself set in for not having helped a poor, fellow human being I became ashamed of my company and our purposes for being in Morroco. To what? To "visit"? This led to me realising that our tourism was making the situation worse and flooding these markets with the cheap and useless crap that I was despising.
And then I started thinking about America and what it was doing in the Middle East and it went downhill from there.
But I refuse to get political right now.
We also saw a lovely 14th century university and I snagged a couple of nice pictures (at least I thought so)

^ ^ (this one is actually from a nearby museum) ^ ^

Saturday we took a 2 and a half hour taxi ride up into the mountains. At least I say they were mountains. Apparently my midwest mind makes anything that stretches up over the horizon a mountain.
Anyway, we ejected ourselves from the car to stumble about in the dirt and grassy fields, following a non-talkative guide down to the side of a sheer drop-off. The upshot was that there happened to be a river that had the same guide. Lovely scenery to be sure but the thing that grabbed me most was my usual deep and unstoppable urge to jump into the water miles below my feet. Don't ask me why, I'm not suicidal although it would most likely have been suicide. I really need to supress the urge by going skydiving. Did I say supress? I meant impress.
Yeah I know that wasn't funny, but do you think I care? Who's the one writing this shit?? ME! BACK OFF!
*ahem*
Anyway, we then were tricked into paying a shite-load for a crappy meal and took another 2 and a half hour ride back into the smog-den that was Merrakesh. I have to take a second and salute our taxi driver at being incredibly patient (one of our party had a coughing fit lasting the entire trip), incredibly nice (he stopped at a town and suggested she get water), and incredibly self-sacrificing (upon our arrival in Merrakesh we stopped at a Morrocan roundabout [read: a big open space that cars randomly drive through] where he met what I assumed to be his family. I assume such because he picked up and hugged the little boy that ran at him and kissed the woman holding the hand of the little girl. Or maybe I'm making that up; is public kissing allowed in Islam? Anyway, I gathered from hand gestures, mood, facial expression, and tone of voice that they wanted him to go do something with them but he had to finish working, meaning finish helping us [yeah, I know, that's a lot to gather from hand gestures, mood, etc. but what can I say? I'm brilliant]. And then he even took us to the train station which was added on after he was supposed to have been done with us).
Serious props, dude.
Anyway, the train took us to Tangiers where we caught a ferry across the fabled Straights of Gibralter. The weather sucked.
Spain's weather did not, thankfully. The last 4 or 5 days (I forget!) were spent mainly in playing cards (with a deck that only had 48 cards and had "clubs, coins, swords, and cups" for suits), swimming in the warm pool / freezing beach, and lazing about as good springbreakers should.
And then a lovely trip back to Heathrow complete with flight delays, cancellations, subsequent face-eating, and lost luggage completed the journey.
Don't worry, I got the luggage back the next day.
And everything has returned to normalcy, ugh.
I can't wait to get home.

ist alles doof

2005-03-01T09:59:00.000-06:00

doof says: (me)
guten tag
Mellow says: (a friend)
ja ist gut
doof says:
lol do you know german?
Mellow says:
not enough to survive
Mellow says:
but enough to make people who dont think i do

After this last weekend I can't understand for the life of me why anyone would want to eat a frankfurter. They were all very pleasant people, some of the nicest we've met on our trips into the main continent.
It is frigid here, I will assert, but our trip to Frankfurt proved that England has wussy winters. And while it wasn't the worst snow I've seen having been born and lived in and around the Chicago area my entire life up until this last year, it was freezing cold. Maybe all this time spent with England's cold-but-moist weather has thawed my bones somewhat and taken some of my resiliance away.
Regardless, we truged through snow and cold to peruse stolen goods in an open air market, to little cafes reminiscent of Italy for the warmth of coffee (and paninis), to our hostel which lied about its appearance, choosing to use a picture of the Frankfurt government building as it's facade.
Our best meal, not only in taste but in substance, was in the little town nearby Weisbaden that Rali aged from 5 to 6 in. Some Italian place that she used to eat at in those year(s). Creamy broccolli soup and caprese pizza and tiramisu that puts the Chicago norm to shame.
Ok, it's official now. Italy is my favorite country.
I see your skeptical looks...ok, ok, at least favorite European country...
And finally, at the airport was a popcorn machine that, when paid, would play the techno song "Popcorn". But what would make it delightfully funny to me is if the song "Popcorn" was written by taking the well-known popcorn machine jingle and adding a beat to it.
It just seems like a techno thing to do.
(see Mashed Taters for an example)
If anyone has knowledge on the subject it would be appreciated.
But who would that be?

It Snowed...

2005-02-22T02:45:00.000-06:00

brilliant that these pictures fit rather well with my color scheme

it's an activity!

2005-02-17T16:45:00.000-06:00

1. Think of a word you would use to describe me.
2. Go to Google Image Search and search for that word.
3. Select the picture you see as most fitting, and leave a comment with the link.

This should be fun...

An excerpt of conversation

2005-02-17T15:52:00.000-06:00

thinking, that's all says: (me)
hello
Boryca says: (my friend)
where did you come from?
thinking, that's all says:
i came from the deep and dark places of your MIND *points to your head eerily*
thinking, that's all says:
i emerged quietly from an abandoned puddle of coke left from an intense fight between two middle school friends, started by a slight disagreement of a show on FOX kids 's worth and spurred on by both's insistance on calling the other a wussy
thinking, that's all says:
i slipped out from behind a tree you were staring at just as soon as you looked the other way, like it always happens in your nightmares
thinking, that's all says:
i fell from the sky
thinking, that's all says:
need i go on?
thinking, that's all says:
or have you already come to the conclusion you are bound to come to
thinking, that's all says:
will you ask the question now at the tip of our tongue?
thinking, that's all says:
"what, out of all manner of things, are you smoking?"
thinking, that's all says:
and will you believe me when I swear that I have not been inhaling any smoke from burning objects recently and that I am really only in a weird mood? Or will you reject my claims??
thinking, that's all says:
Will you???

Run!! It's pink!!

2005-02-15T10:06:00.000-06:00

Merry Day-After-Valentine's Day to all!
And to all...a good night!!
Or, no that's Christmas, my mistake.
Speaking of Valentine's Day, our banquet sure was a gyp. Making us skip dinner so we could starve for another hour and a half to be "satisfied" with...
Poop. Served with pasta.
And you know how when something tastes like poop you drink more to make up for it? The drink was poop too. It tasted like, as Rali and Avi put it, a certain cough syrup.
And to top it all off we had a Frank Sinatra impersonator of sorts crooning away.
"Fly me to the moon and let me play among the stars"
If only, sir. If only.
But did all these tiny inconviences stop us friends from having a "rip-roarin'" good time?
Oh wait, yeah. Yeah, it pretty much did. Kinda lame.
"But Valentine's Day is for suckers! It's really just a corporate scam! Why would you want to have fun on a day like that?"
*sigh*
But anyway, for those who hate Valentine's Day:

Be happy because you have an entire year to wait before another one!

For those who like Valentine's Day (and are not single):

Spend time with your loved one(s) today too! Nothing shows true love like not letting corporation-invented dates schedule your events for you.

What about the single people who like Valentine's Day, you ask?
What words of wisdom do I have to impart to them?
...Um...just keep waiting?...um...
I can't think of anything clever or interesting for those poor few, besides that it would seem to be a sort of masochism (not the sexual kind people, get your minds out of the gutter! By the by, why is the sexual kind the first on the dictionary list of definitions? People these days, sheesh).
Well, that's all.
It's an hour until dinner, I have to go shower!
Ta ta.

I'm on my way...

2005-02-11T15:02:00.000-06:00

...to becoming a rock star.
We went to Reading today and guess what I bought?
Shoes! Black converse high tops. They're great although I think I'm going to get different laces for them. Like black ones or checkered ones or something.
Well, anyway, after that I went over to the Virgin Megastore to listen to some bands that I have on my list of "music to look into". I was only on the first cd, thinking to myself, "I should buy this," when one of the store attendants comes up to me and taps me on the shoulder.
I think, "What? It's only 5 o'clock, they can't be closing," but no, he tells me that the building next door is on fire and they are evacuating this one.
And sure enough we go outside and there's a fire engine or two, police blocking off the road, and a thick plume of dark smoke billowing from the neighboring building, burning embers everyonce in awhile floating into view.
Rather an impressive sight, I only hope no one was killed.
I didn't see any flames, the part that was actually on fire was in the middle of block.
Although I wonder how the fire fighters can put it out from the street when its a 3 storey building and its in the back of it...
Well anyway, it was interesting but my pants were falling off so I had to go get a belt.
Then we ate at this place called Pitcher and Piano and they had this really good sounding burger thing. Of course, not a real meat burger it was made of mozerella and olive, which sounded really good but unfortunately my dreams of gooey goodness were shot down by the waitress who announced that they didnt have it anymore. So I settled for a much less satisfying "mushroom soup in wheat breadbowl".
*sigh*
Although the pub is redeemed in my mind by the cheese sampler dish we had.
Fried goat cheese, bree, and mozerella mmmmmm.
I can not describe how good that was.
And that was it.
A simple trip, Avi got a "dress" for the party that looks more like a shirt. She's going to wear fishnets under it. Me and Rali think she should get similar colored solid tights to wear mid thigh, because you'd be able to see a little bit of leg and yet it'd be covered by the bottom sheen bit of the "dress". We think it'd be rather cute.
And that was it (I've said this twice...)
Oh! No, it wasn't. For all I say about England's prices being insanely steep (and they are) they were selling Nirvana's "Nevermind" for 4.99 sterling!
That's $10! A good deal even for America.
Unfortunately, due to the fire, that and my other prospective purchase were left to gather dust on the shelves.
...
and that was it.
...

It begins!

2005-01-31T04:11:00.000-06:00

I need a haircut, and before you start making snide remarks about me and haircuts, I'm not that stubborn as to let it simply grow to my waist. I have a look I'm going for, it's just that no one really sees it.
Also, I'm playing with different ways of tieing my scarf up, because just hanging there seems a bit lazy looking, which isnt the idea.
But anyway, classes have officially "begun" in my book. Now I know that this really happened Tuesday of last week, the first and even second meets of most classes are rather pointless and wasteful of time.
Besides, I only just now have my scedule comepletely worked out. It's a good thing those first couple meetings are rather pointless and wasteful of time or everyone who wanted to slightly mess around with their schedule would have a hard time adjusting to the new class.
But anyway, my new and hopefully completed schedule is as follows:

English Composition II

Civilisation and Ideas II

Studies in Literature: Tolkien and Lewis

Creative Writing

Film Evaluation

And that's it. Let's give them all a hand, I'm sure they'll stand up to my random criticism and complaints.
In other news, Widge stops being a dick and learns some HTML! Uses it in his post!
Also, hair from a beard was trimmed this morning, care to guess whose?
Alright, alright, enough of you.
I'm out of here.

Newness

2005-01-22T04:41:00.000-06:00

There are 3 new poems up at Penny For My Thoughts, two of which are actually old ones that I thought I had already put on the site. Turns out I didn't. The other one is new, just kinda popped off as I was listening to a song.
And now, a new thing to waste your time with!
What's that?
I'm turning into Rali?
You shush!
I can have as many blogs as I want!
Bah!
Anyway, here is the latest installment of random crap from my insane mind.
Working
Ya, I know the title isn't that great, but I haven't had enough time to think of a better one.
So that one will probably become the actual title, just like what happened to this blog...
Well anyway, I'm off to shower, read, eat, any of the above.

Update!

2005-01-21T13:52:00.000-06:00

An update!
And update I say!
Well, I have essentialy moved back into my dorm room, with space for my new laptop to fit on my desk with new ethernet cable hooked into the wall giving me (finally!) connection in the comfort of my living space!
How marvelous.
Anyway, Paris was great and I may explain more if I feel up to it later but for now be content with the fact that I was pleased with my visit.
Ah, but now what must be said.
If you pay attention to the site then you may have noticed that Les Miserables is finally not the book I am currently reading.
Yes, I have finished the monster. It may have taken me a year or so but it's done.
But before any of it had time to simmer in my brain, the very next day after finishing it in fact, I stumbled delightfully onto a new book.
As I wandered aimlessly through Heathrow, trying to spend the 3 or so hours I had left to waste before my flight to Paris I happened upon a book entitled, The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger (Which is a strange name with reference to both author and title).
Today I put the book down, waiting for my flight back to Heathrow.
The plot is essentially about a girl who meets her future husband when she is 6 and he is 36 but they were married when she was 22 and he was 30, due to a genetic disorder the guy has which sends him back to random times throughout his life.
I finished it in a week and it has already become near to being my favorite book, right up there with the Ender Series.
This is a prestigious position so I highly recommend it
Anyway, that be all.
Tirement overwhelms me.
And plus I need to install MSN Messenger.

Paris? Wha?

2005-01-19T07:10:00.000-06:00

Hi everybody!
(Hi Doctor Nick!)
I'm writing to you all from Paris (pronounce that Pah-ree and it sounds better) in a little internet cafe, anticipating ice-cream fondue that caught our attention as we passed the Hagendaz (that's surely not the correct spelling...) after leaving the Italian food restaurant that we dined at.
My friend had torellini which she unrightly assumed would be simple cheese filled, but turned out to be complex cheese-and-pink-colored-oddity filled.
We've had a good time so far, but Paris is beginning to get on my nerves and I find myself more often than not (or is that naught?) wanting to be home or, at least, in Chicago rather than trapesing all over Europe.
Ah well, c'est la vie.
At least, that's what they say around here. (or is that Italian?)
Until next time then,
au revoir.

.*?

2005-01-11T08:42:00.000-06:00

Which File Extension are You?

leaving home

2005-01-07T14:54:00.000-06:00

I am frantically typing this away as I have no time left.
I am going back to England.
Well, soon enough, right now I'm preparing to go to Massachusets where I'll be visiting family and then after that Paris where I'll be hanging out and then England.
Until then, expect a bit of silence...

Tell the folks at home what you're doing Roger...

2005-01-04T06:52:00.000-06:00

Well, well, once again I am here, thinking words that my fingers portray in text.
Whoa, I know I'm too awake when I start to contemplate how weird typing is.
So, I woke up at 3:30am again today because I went to sleep at something like 9:00 or 9:30pm.
This is getting out of hand, when will I chat with people? What else is there in life??
Just kidding, but speaking of other important things in life, I saw Unforgiven.
Ya know, the one movie written by Clint Eastwood, modern western, absolutely brilliant film? It has definately made my list.
Not that there is a list somewhere (well, not a conclusive one...yet...) but I speak of the proverbial list that many people in fact speak of but never really seem to have.
Other recent additions to this make-believe list:
Garden State
Shaun of the Dead
both of which were rather good, although I think I enjoyed Shaun of the Dead more. That is another brilliant movie. I watched it on New Year's Eve with my friends in *largish rural Illinois town west of Chicago*. We all decided that it is what would really happen if zombies showed up. Unlike those stupid horror flicks where everybody is all, "AHH!! Oh my God, I'm so scared, somebody help me!" *crying* *zombies devour flesh* it is instead more like what you would expect your friends to act like. I'm not going to quote anything from it because that would ruin even a tiny fraction of the experience for you because you would know what was coming.
Also I can't be bothered to remember one.
Moving on, Garden State was rather good too although predictable and a rather simple plot. For a second I thought they were going to turn the tables at the last second and totally mess with everything you thought the movie was about, and I think everybody who watched it did too, but they chickened out and stuck with what most people would expect from a romantic comedy movie.
Ah well.
In other news, I restrung my accoustic guitar, having finally bought the bloody pegs for the bridge after snapping the low E's peg in two the *last* time I tried to restring the bloody thing.
Ah, but the wait was worth it.
There are things an accoustic cannot do when compared to the electric but there are also plenty of things the electric cannot do when compared to the accoustic. I was a fool to think I could survive with only one for any lengthy amount of time.
I loves my accoustic ^-^ tee hee.
OK, enough of that.
I have to go to the post office today, go to *largish rural Illinois town west of Chicago* for like the fourth time this break, buy stuff, and make it back for tea and biscuits.
Actually just before 5.
cheers!

A thousand points to me and you

2004-12-30T02:21:00.000-06:00

So the game is over, everyone's been caught but you, and now you get to ride on the tank.
Ya, I only just watched it.
Lovely way to get depressed.
That's why I'm watching a mouse widow attempt to save her feverish son from the plow, hopefully I can be a little cheered up.
But for some reason I remember this movie being filled with creepy visuals, creepy music, and a rather tense plot.
Of course, it's either that or Unforgiven...
And...well...I mean come on...I'm already depressed :)
Check out ::the smoke zone::
it's been updated.
Well, back to the proverbial popcorn.

Chop, chop, chop, chop, chop...

2004-12-23T01:34:00.000-06:00

I think a helicopter hovered outside my house today.
By the way, there's a new poem up in Penny For My Thoughts, go check it out.
Me and The Mad Grabber took our guitars to his drummer friend's house yesteray. The bassist friend came over too. Can anyone guess what ensued?
5 hours of hardcore rocking, minus the drugs and the sex (for all you who decided not to be nice and guess).
Then today my friend revealed to me that I can get a discount on anything I want from Best Buy as long as he buys it.
Now I have 5 hours before I need to "wake up" and go downtown.
Well, until next time, don't let those silent black helicopters take you away!

Broken

2004-12-20T23:12:00.000-06:00

"O God, I have an ill-divining soul!
Methinks I see thee, now thou art below,
As one dead in the bottom of a tomb:
Either my eyesight fails, or thou look'st pale."

Death became her awfully well,
a sight quite suitable for hell.

Blood drains from my lips, from my cheeks, from my mind.
Nothing is left in me to function, I release my grip, I stumble backwards.
Falling not on the ground so solid beneath me but tumbling off into the sky above, cresting at the sun, blinding my already functionless eyes.

"Light beams through
windows stream into my eyes
explode like red ballons
as it reminds me of you
so long ago

wind blows through
a hole in the roof
brings your perfume like lillies to me
and all I can do
is remember you"

When was the last time?

"I need you now be my light
tomorrow is much too late
I need you now"

quotes from Romeo and Juliet and Saves the Day - Tomorrow Too Late

Home!!

2004-12-18T16:30:00.000-06:00

wOOT!
So that crap is done with.
I now get a lovely 4 weeks off from school!
Ahh, time to relax, take it slow, just chill.

After scrambling to buy thousands of presents before Christmas.

Ahh, the easy life.

Gah!

2004-12-13T07:00:00.000-06:00

You again?
No, I can't talk right now, I have an exam in 2 hours.
No, no really, no time, out.
Bah, I swear, "no rest for the wicked," eh?

And the curtains are drawn back...

2004-12-09T13:30:00.000-06:00

So I exaggerated the "genius" of the secret item I had been working on.
BUT, without further ado, here it is:
Penny For My Thoughts
You can now have fun reading through some of my random poetry. Most of it is crap, but I weeded out all the stuff I thought was incredibly putrid and left the stuff that I think has more promise.
But don't listen to me babble on about it, see for yourself.
I'm shutting up now.
Honestly.

heading into a crazed hunger

2004-12-06T06:01:00.000-06:00

Ohmigosh!!
A whole new approach to the link section you say?
Well, maybe I'm just so amazed I can't comment! (maybe that!)
Yes, yes, it's like a whole new blog
...just not...
The link section is now all fancified. The only real huge change is the webcomic section and I think it deserves a little explanation. Firstly, you will notice that the many links have been organized by the *type* of webcomic it is, under three main titles: "story-driven", "just humor", and "artistic".
Story-driven is any webcomic that has a main story that each comic is simply a continuation of. The story may or may not be funny, but I decided that this type of comic deserved it's own place.
Just humor is a section for those comics that don't really have one story that continues all the way through. There may be certain episdoes but generally the only thing that ties the comic together are the recurring characters.
Artistic is not meant to insult the artistic quality of all the other webcomics that *aren't* in this section. It simply puts these few aside from the others as they aren't always funny and ussually aren't meant to be.
The next and last thing you should notice that is different about the links section is that there are quotes next to the link from the website in question. So far not all have quotes, and some may never, but if there is something that either makes me laugh 'til I soil my pants and smell up the computer lab or that I find incredibly profound and have to spend the rest of my day brooding over, then I will put it up next to the link.
It also helps you to know a little better what the webcomic is like.
Ok, thats all. Now I have to go consume nothing but juice for the next 5 days!
cheers
Oh p.s.
just a side note, I heard that someone was concerned about the lyrics on the previous post by the FICTITIOUS band "Noosehead".
Just to restate that:
Noosehead does NOT exist, they are not a "favorite band" of mine, just something I found dreadfully funny on the webcomic Sam and Fuzzy.
That is all.
Message over.
*static fuzz*

noosehead

2004-11-30T11:16:00.000-06:00

Some choice lyrical selections from the new Noosehead album:
The killer hit single: "I Will Eat Your Family".

Nowhere to run now
I WILL EAT YOUR FAMILY
Coming undone now
I WILL EAT YOUR FAMILY
Nothing can save me
I WILL EAT YOUR FAMILY
Your mommy looks tasty

*screaming*

*more screaming*

GOD DAMN MOTHER-F**KER!

*anguished screaming*

*confused screaming*

*self-aware screaming*

This is, of course, not to be mistaken for their other big hit, "I Will Eat Your EXTENDED Family".
-------------------------------------------------------------
You must go check out Sam and Fuzzy this instant!
(oh side note, it's not about Noosehead, that is just one of the things the author has made up that I found too funny to not quote)

a little bundle of joy

2004-11-18T10:39:00.000-06:00

I am increasingly reminded that I adore music.
My sister sent me a gigantic *purple* package today (well technically she probably sent it a week or two ago but I received it today and that's what counts) which I opened *without* looking at the customs declaration, thus keeping the suprise alive. And a fine suprise it was!
Although I think I prefer normal National Geographic mags there was one of the "Traveler" specification which I assume is due to the fact that I am travelling, in a way. There was also a giant bag of twizzlers which exites me so (I am going to get coke and use the twizzlers as straws! Then I am going to pass out from a sugar high! Yay!), a crap load of gum, a toothbrush (to get rid of all the sugar that I was sent methinks? or is the crap load of gum / toothbrush supposed to be a secretly implied message regarding my breath's smell status?), Uno cards, and the latest November issue of SPIN magazine! Yay!
SPIN is what reminded me of music. So I played a bit on my gatari (which I haven't done in a while as per time restraints and no amp *tear* ) and made up a little ditty and everything. That was lovely and now I want to get all my CDs back from those who I have lent them to and listen throughout the night.
I was going to talk about the internet earlier today because sometime last night as I slowly sank deeper into the brick colored coushins in the student lounge I began to brood over it. But then it was time for NSA so I didn't post anything. Fascinating, no?
Right, so for anyone who cares to know, I am secretly cooking something up (secretly...no longer!) behind the scenes and may eventually have a new thing for you to waste countless hours at, hoping to catch a passing glimpse of the uncomprehendable brilliance of my astounding mind.
...
although it will probably be a lot more like some random crap I've made that I thought was nice that you can look at.
So anyway time for me to wrap this up, it's almost *glances at clock* 4:58pm!! Oh no!! Better rush off to make sure that I make it to the nothing that happens at 5!
*wrap*

hot water is a commodity

2004-11-15T07:27:00.000-06:00

I'm sick.
Yes, I know this is not news for the world or indeed, the world wide web, but I felt a strong urge to share.
I actually threw up on Sunday, right after breakfast. I was already feeling rather ill and decided it was in my best interest to *not* eat anything solid especially as the food isn't good to begin with. In all I had a half a cup of hot water, which I expelled to the right of the sidewalk in the grass after sitting there for what seemed like a good ten minutes.
I hate being sick. Now I am not as naseous and can keep food down but I have a splitting headache in my right temple and my eye feels like it needs to be ripped out and massaged gently or something radicaly insane like that.
I spent a good 20 minutes in the shower simply sitting there with the hot water pelting my back. That feels *great* when you are sick. Though I did start to feel guilty about the fact that I was wasting water when there are places in the world where water is in a shortage.
I think I was delirious.

2mb no longer!

2004-11-10T11:31:00.000-06:00

Finally.
*Finally*!
After long months of frustration from seemingly unkept promises, my inbox is indeed 250mb.
Finally, I need have no worries about my rapidly filling inbox, I highly doubt I'll be able to fill 250mb soon with the average of 4kb per email.
Funny though, have you noticed that the junk mail that is being sent out now is almost 75kb on average? Bloddy junk mail never seems to disapear, this bloddy "junk mail filter" thing on MSN is pointless.
Well anyway, it's time for dinner.

Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

2004-11-03T07:37:00.000-06:00

There's something about listening to music that make time pointless and makes you happy, or if not happy, at least vindicated.

What is that?

There's something else about people when you are with them and talking and chatting and being happy and not getting down eachother's throats for thinking differently or caring about one aspect of politics or not that seems to give life meaning.

What *is* that?

There's something about reading anything written by someone who is above the system and seems like an outsider that seems to drain my hope and yet uplift it at the same time.

What *is* that?

There's something about randomly questioning things or conversing with "no one" at least not visible that seems to act as a release or a purge of doubt and fear.

What is *that*?

And there's something about this post that says
"THIS IS RANDOM POINTLESS DRIBBLE: DO NOT READ"

What is that?

There's still hope!

2004-11-03T07:35:00.000-06:00

If everyone pulls together at the last minute then there may still be a chance to elect Frickles!
Please won't everybody just think of the mudcats??
Somebody think of the mudcats!!!

No, reader, I expect you to die

2004-11-03T06:30:00.000-06:00

Well, well, well.
So. We meet again.
And I thought you were smarter than this.
I thought you had *brains* reader, *brains*.
But no, you come and read once again.
Did you really think things would be updated?
Be honest.

In other news, Weezer = greatest band in last 10 years?
Check it out!

Had my prayer breakfast thingy today. Mmm mmm. That be good eatin'
There's not much better than cardboard toast frenchified and flat-as-pancakes waffles (circular at that!) with sum buttah and a cuppa (and don't forget orange juice).

Or am I being sarcastic? Am I? Can you tell??
That *is* a rather annoying feature of the internet; sarcasm is not an easy thing to make clear.

OK, anyway.
So...the polls...yeah...*cough*

In other news, NEW WEBCOMIC!
And it has reminded me of the wonderful commentary / humorous dialouge of Calvin and Hobbes. It even has a similar concept (but slightly more...um halucinogenic) seeing as it is the story of a large anthropomorphic cat who lives with a little girl. They talk about life and society and...um...stuff.

Also check out bunnies doing random things at Bunny

Ok, well that's it. I have to go and do homework and stuff.
All I have left to say is...
*BOOP*
...yep...
*BOOP*

Pupil

2004-10-21T04:26:00.000-05:00

Here's something to boggle your mind with.
Imagine an apple. You are looking at an apple. What? What color is it? What does it matter? Well, sheesh, if you're going to be all insistant about it then fine...*green* ok? Sheesh...
*Anyway*, you are looking at an apple. Now logically, you know that the apple can either be seen or not be seen. Meaning, the apple is in your line of vision or it isn't. It's in front of you or it's not. In simplest form, you can see the apple or you can't.
Right, simple. But now imagine you can always see the apple. So no longer is there the schism between seeing and not seeing. *But* a new contrast arrives. Either the apple exists or it doesn't. The apple has the oppurtunity to be or not to be (that is the question). It can be there or it can not be there. These are the options regarding the apple, at least, the most basic ones.
Now, apply this idea of the apple to God. Let us assume that He exists. Therefore, by logic, the other option is that He does not exist. Here is where it gets confusing.
If God is all-powerful, as I believe, then does this mean that He is not bound to existence, for if He were, He would not be as powerful as He could be, therefore having the option to cease to exist if He wished? In other, simpler terms, can God decide to cease to exist?
Ah, you say, well of course. If God is truly all-powerful then He must be able to not exist or He would be shackled to existence.
*BUT*
Is it more powerful to be able to cease to exist or to be above the rule of non-existence??
Here is where it gets *even more* conusing. If God is truly all-powerful, and all things are made by God and all things are of God then...
isn't it limiting Him to say that He needs to be able to cease to exist?
Doesn't this simply switch the shackling?
Now He is shackled to having a choice. While the limitation is different, it is still a limitation.
If God created all then did He not create the ability to choose?
If this was created by Him then wouldn't he be beyond it's rules?
If He did *not* create the ability to choose then who did?
What, if not God, created the framework, not only of our universe, but of existence itself?
The final question then:
Is existence eternal or did God create it?

a request

2004-10-21T04:22:00.000-05:00

Whoever reads this just please pray for someone.
it's not me, don't anyone freak out about me, it's for someone I know

prego sauce is salutary

2004-10-18T09:24:00.001-05:00

New webcomic up on the links page today: www.qwantz.com which is Daily Dinosaur Comics. I tried to read it months ago and didn't find it humorous enough to look again but after the extensive reading I did today I just had to add it to my links section. You *must* go read it and, if you're feeling comical, make your own! It's really quite easy, as you'll soon find out.
In other news, Verona is rather a cool place to go. I would only advise you to get a good hotel for *all* the nights you stay, not just one of them. Train stations do not make for comfortable sleeping enviroments. There are also plenty of odd people (but cool!) who show you card tricks, play games, and attempt to rob you senseless (and fail!). And don't forget the police who want to know what you are doing when you are sitting very straight in a cold coridor staring at three sleeping girls. It really must have seemed rather odd...
Also, you must ignore all rational thought and *do not* get a map. Neither should you look at one, simply wander at random, believe me, it is much more fun.
Also, if you are looking for a cafe at which to drink absolutely astounding cafe latte then make sure to look from *side to side* as well as forward.
Also, be sure to distinguish between "15" and "50", it will only lead to horridly painful confusion if you don't.
Oh and don't bother to try wine, it tastes like shit and it burns your mouth. Absolutely pointless.
Ooo speaking of, me and Rali are going to develop "milk-wine". You take a carton of milk, stick it on the counter, wait a few weeks, and...
*voila!*
Milk-wine! Hooray, now sell it for hundreds of dollars, offer it at fancy restaurants and you will be a millionaire! Too bad me and Rali already thought of the idea! You're screwed! Muwahahahahaha!
Ha ha! I am envisioning all the money I will soon have! And I am envisioning your pathetically empty pockets! This makes me laugh! Laugh with glee! Ha!
...
*ahem*
Now, if you will excuse me, I have to write 7 postcards that will unfortunately have Bracknell postmarks but be from Verona.

Ketchup Pride

2004-10-14T15:39:00.001-05:00

You love America. You would give it all the money you make, and then some. Make sure your Ketchup supports it too.

by the way, I'm not endorsing this product, it is purely hilarious. The thing above is just sarcasm. (it's just too hard to tell on the Internet so I thought I'd just tell you to be sure.

update? wha???

2004-10-14T09:49:00.000-05:00

MASSIVE update!
Well, to the sidebar at least, I don't really have it in me to write some sort of awesome post that will astound you and enlighten you and quite possibly make you cry with joy or something like that.
So instead I facked with the template! Yay!
A whole new sidebar format greets you, you lucky traveller you!
I have divided it up into more sections, pushed stuff up, dropped stuff down, and just generally made everything look nicer.
Also, sadly, I opted for the all text approach because it caused too much of a clash to my poor eyes to see all these neato buttons followed by pathetic text.
So, in favor of being able to put links to all the wecomics I follow up, it's all text. Now I only wish I could have a separate page for them so I could offer you some form of description, because as they are you are only getting your impression of them by their name, and that's hardly fair.
So, in an attempt to make it fair for all of them, you'll just have to click on them all at some point.
Oh and my profile has been thoroughly changed and now actually contains *horror!* INFORMATION!!! oh noes!!!!111
But yes quite anyway...
Well that's all for me, I'm off to continue working.
you better be happy Rahlly, not only did I update my profile, I updated the look of the site in general, AND this post is broken up. Don't get used to it though, it's just this one. :P

Two Fish, an Apple, and Carrot Juice.

2004-10-12T09:53:00.000-05:00

I have yet again stumbled upon a new webcomic, this one entitled "Fox and Apple" and is to be found at this site. It is a glimpse into the life of a Fox who is described as "the biggest asshole EVAH" and a rabbit who is described as "the biggest doormat EVAH" and their relationship with eachother. Look also for the nerdy Francis and the protective freeloader Peary.
The whole interspecies thing reminds me of SamBakZa.net and the insanely cute little korean animation to be found there of the results of a rabbit falling in love with a cat at first sight.
(To find it, go to the site mentioned above, click "enter", click on "Amalloc enter", then click "view" next to the banner of the cat drinking the stuff in the cup)

downed server

2004-10-11T14:22:00.000-05:00

He spent his precious minutes staring at a blank page, wondering what he possibly could do to fill this gap of time. It wasn’t merely the Internet that had ceased to function, it was his arms*, it was his muscles, it was his will to move. He was required to think, but had no factual basis for any thought, it being held somewhere in the vast pool of collective knowledge and random pointless facts that people from all over the world had added to. If he could peruse this at leisure, it was almost certain that the information he needed to succeed in his current assignment would simply make its way to the foreground and quietly peep, “I’m right here, no need to panic, you can research your speech.” But instead the Windows logo fluttered indefinately in electronic wind and teased his tortured soul; already growing tense at the tenative ruin this would surely cause. Breathing steadily faster he erased the horribly blank page in front of him, glaring out from the screen. Two swift clicks and there it was again, still unchanging. It taunted him, called out to him with false hope, “Maybe I’m just slow at the moment. Maybe too many people want to look at me. Maybe I’ll pop up with something if you only wait a little longer,” fueling his anger.
He paused, refreshed, and waited more.
*his nuclear arms

You'll be happy to know that his waiting was not fruitless and the internet returned. God smiled on me tonight.

content?

2004-10-07T09:54:00.000-05:00

I'm not particularly fond of writing essays and am, in fact, avoiding doing so right this instant. Yes, this instant. No, no, the one just before. No right there. No, look, this isn't complicated; it was that one instant where I typed the- look never mind, I'll just go do it then. Sheesh, way to guilt trip me.
Oh by the way, I found a delectably wonderful new webcomic called Questionable Content which isn't exactly *that* questionable although there are a quite a few discussions involving such horrid things as *shock* sex, *awe* alchohol, and *horror* cake-mix. But besides such terrible deviations from goodness it's actually a rather pleasantly happy story. It also reminds me of High Fidelity to an astounding degree, which happens to be my favorite movie (so go watch it this instant!) and therefore adds to my liking of this new comic. So! go have fun reading it.
As soon as I get a good free image-hosting website up I'll be sure to put the link button up right next to all the others.

get your facts straight

2004-10-07T09:30:00.000-05:00

I'm sorry but I must laugh ridiculously at the irony of Cheny's slight mistake last night...or well for me it was God-awfully early morning but the idea, *the idea*...stay with me. If you are either a politically concious US citizen, a concerned European, or simply someone who likes a good laugh, then you most likely watched the not quite as publicised, and not nearly as formal vice presidential debates for the upcoming American election. Now I happened to have been up at 2am anyway so I figured what harm can come of watching it, especially since I fall in the later category of the three previously mentioned. Mostly though, rather than causing humorous giggles of delight (though there were a few), the debate caused only general perturbation and a red spot from where my head was left on the table I sat (and napped) at. One of these few spots that did produce small chuckles was Cheney's use of a website to attempt to back him up, because I simply found it humorous that in this day and age the internet is considered a source, and a reliable one at that (apparently). Had I known the site I would have laughed outright, as I did this morning after reading The Guardian's G2 section. Cheney said to go to factcheck.com which doesn't seem to be working any longer...But anyway, Cheney said to go there to prove some point of his and if you were to you would find a large headline reading something to the extent of "How Bush is ruining America". For a more detailed description go to this site.

Full stop!

2004-10-05T04:50:00.000-05:00

So I have a bag.
Or a satchel as my sister so cleverly put it on the customs declaration.
It kind of takes away part of the mystery of getting a giant package in the mail from overseas, only to see that pasted on the side of it is a label with a detailed account of all that is in it. And yet I must thank my sister profoundly for the "Satchel, pens, cookies, magazine, etc." It was a nice suprise to find the little pink slip saying "You have a gigantic package we can't fit in your inadequatly small mailbox; please come and get it" rather than the usual green slip telling me what random crap the school had planned for the week.
Now I'm just stuck with how to decorate this new customizable thing I've stumbled upon. I'm thinking...buttons....maybe...
So! speaking of random crap the school has planned for us, theres a worship right now that I need to go to in order to make up the 4 per week I am supposed to go to.
This post has officially ended, right now, at the end of this sentance, the sentance you're reading, this one, period.

This didn't happen

2004-09-22T09:08:00.000-05:00

So Howlin' Pelle was...well, howlin' about how everything he does is done with diabolical intent. I'm like that's not true but he wouldn't listen so we just end up throwing dead quotes at eachother and I got sick of it. So, in need of an antidote, I asked Paul if he could come, together with a few of his friends. So he showed up and we chatted about....something...oh metaphysical science, he asked if I was majoring in medicine but I said, "No, I have never liked memorization, I nearly break down because it gets so heavy, and that's practically all it is." Then he got this look on his face like I'm crazy, "Here it comes..." I said because you have to understand that he's huge into the medical stuff. So, he tried to say that I've got to think about it, I'll be out of college with my money spent and he saw no future in a BACH degree. Of course, he's sort of right, I wonder myself what I'll do. I'll have to end up as a teacher or something like that. Then everybody was laughing because someone else stuck a £10 note up her nose and got kind of crazy. You should have seen it, I've heard she said she'd always been a dancer but the display she put on didn't quite back that. Maybe once there was a way I would have believed her but not while she was drunk. She was carried out but in the middle of the celebration I broke down and fell asleep. I wonder what'll be in my dreams tonight. Anyway, so I woke up a bit later and was talking with this pretty nice girl, but she didn't have a lot to say so I figured it was time to call an end to the party.

The real college life

2004-09-21T10:12:00.000-05:00

*sigh* I have a paper that is due yesterday, a paper due next Monday, and a paper due next Friday. Don't forget the 36 headlines about America from The Guardian that I need to write down. Well that's not precisely true, I have done 6 of them already so I only need to catch up 30 of them. And, no of course I'll be able to do that later because *of course* there's computers in the dorm that can be used at all times. Wait what? What's that? oh, the school was retarted and took the computers out of the dorm? Oh I see then, never mind, I guess I'm just screwed.
I really need a laptop.

controlled randomosity?

2004-09-18T06:11:00.000-05:00

Yes, yes I know that by now you are fed up with these things and are asking yourself, "What? Another one? Dear God, another one? Arg, why another one?" but I must insist upon it. What else am I supposed to do with dreams?
So, I was in the student lounge and had just finished reading section one of chapter one in part three of Les Miserables and I promptly fell asleep (this is not a commentary on my likings of the book, I, in fact, love it so far). Most of it as usual is not rememberable. I was in the lounge. But instead of it being empty and serene there were people in it, many people who were making noise. Talking, movement, etc. Otherwise it was the exact same thing as "reality". To prove this I *woke up* and showed myself and then re-entered dream world. Then someone came in and started to play music on their computer which I could only hear in dream world, when I awoke momentarily there was still no one in the room. This person thoug was obviousy agitating many of the people in the room as it wasn't "Sabbath music" and it was loudish. It agitated me too because I wanted solitude in the first place and at least quiet if not that. So I said, "I don't care about the faith part of this but can you please at least put on headphones so we can have quiet?" He seemed at first to be mainly confused and I made up for my rather imposing comment by saying (rather cryptically) "It's not like it matter, this is only dream world. I can wake up and be in quiet anytime" which I then did to again prove that it was possible. But then while I was in dream world I said to myself, "Ah, but what if *this* is reality and the other is the dream?" and then I "awoke" again and again found it to be empty and silent but *this* time I heard a voice and then I saw a water tower outside the building (which doesn't exist) and it became covered in trees. Then the lounge changed and someone came from outside (the only way to do so is through emergency exits) and he made some passing comment on having been doing something mundane and tossed a brown-paper bag into a trash can. But I mention this because I had suspicions that he was a terrorist bent on killing the students in the lounge. Then things took another turn. I found myself going to the Scottish line dancing thing which is on tonight but it met at a bus and we packed on to it like sardines. I was on the top floor of it as it *was* a double decker but it certainly was *not* a traditional double decker. This top floor was small as ever and felt like it was above the second story on buildings. there was barely any room for the amount of people in it and yet I had a clear view of everything. However, I started to get rather claustrophobic and frightened because the bus was going rather breakneck-fast and did not seem stable. I was afraid of what would happen if it were to tip because it felt like there was no way out of the little box I was trapped in. Anyway, a friend of mine was sitting ahead of me and somehow the seats were arranged in a slight U so the first and last seats were highest up, and, as me and this friend were in those seats, I could see him perfectly clear. At some point we passed through cars on the wrong side of traffic and it seemed as though we hit a few, but I was assured we did not. Briefly after that it was seen why cars were on the wrong side of the road; a semi had been squashed by some horrid accident and had blocked movement. We quickly rushed through the gap and continued on but about that moment my friend's head began to swell up. Swell up to about three times the normal size of a head. As one can imagine, I was concerned and went down the stairs to the lower level of the bus as best I could and called out for a dean or something. I said, "My friend's head is swelling,"
He said, "Woopee," in a decidely uninterested tone. In the end he did nothing and I was rather perturbed but as my friend's head began to shrink to a more believable size I decided I didn't have anything to demand from the person any longer and let him go without much rebuke. But I *did* attempt to kick him as he climbed back down the stairs to the lower level.
Bloody dreams. Make no sense

Drink! Drink! Drink and be merry!

2004-09-18T04:42:00.000-05:00

The clouds are moving awfully fast today. Yesterday I was awaiting two of my friends as they relieved themselves at the mall and, being as tired as I was, I put my head down on my backpack to rest my neck and eyes. A few moments later I was disturbed by a mall security officer asking "You ok, mate?"
I say, "Yes, yes, fine, I'm just waiting for some friends who went to the bathroom,"
I notice behind him is an older woman holding some sort of strong box and looking at me with slightly worried eyes. I ask, "Do I need to move?" for the stores had been closing up their entrances (at 6pm no less! I am not used to this kind of early closing) but, "No, no," he says and leaves me be.
Let me give you a picture. I was wearing my duster and jeans. I have rather long hair which, I admit, is generally unkempt but not disturbingly so. I wash it and part it in the middle; no combing or product or anything like that, just natural. I had with me my backpack, the backpack of my friend (a girl's small backpack this is), three or so bags with shirts (that they had bought earlier), and a jacket I think. Oh, and a purse.
Would you not think I was a tired male who had to spend the day shopping with, if not many, girls at least a girl causing overall lack of energy, hence the head being down and the restful additude? Why then was I in need of assitance?
On a nicer note, I have to admit the first thing I thought after being brought back to reality was that this was an insanely curteous and kind thing to do, so don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to say, "Bah, that's so annoying, what's wrong with British people, sheesh," it wasn't annoying at all, just rather odd. My question is what in the world gave the impression I was downtrodden?
Well, anyway, it took me by suprise, regardless. Where in America will security officers ask if you are doing ok? Unless they expect that you have a bomb or if you've been jumping up onto tables and screaming things like, "I am an owl! I live in the Tower of Flints!!"
Oh, speaking of odd things to say at random, if you're reading this and you live in England then go find a bottle of "Innocent" fruit smoothie stuff, anything from that label will do, and then read whatever is on the bottle or box or whatever it is that you managed to procure. It's the squibnocket of fruit drinks.
Oh, that was off topic...
Wait...topic?

*edit*
I managed to find the website for the aforementioned fruit drinks and so here you are: Innocent Drinks

The Disconnection

2004-09-16T16:42:00.000-05:00

Whoa. I just spent about 30 minutes or so listening to a female Chris Martin but jazier and more introspective and *incredibly* sexual. Go buy Carina Round this instant.

Royal Britannia

2004-09-06T18:47:00.000-05:00

Hey hey hey! Guess where this post is being written from! The green shores of England! I've finally started college! Yup, I've gone and joined the ranks of the adult, haha. So far I've seen plenty of London, kick arse city that be. We went to the Notting Hill festival on Monday which was basically just a huge crowd with loud music and much molestation (from trying to weave one's way through said crowd). The only slightly eventfuly thing that happened was that threee of our party got lost within the first 30 minutes. Interestingly enough, however, we caught up with them right as we entered the train station to go back home. Amazing, no?
Well anyway, I also went to London later on Sunday with the school so luckily it was free to *go* but because the bus left at 3pm and me and my two other friends decided we didn't want to leave quite then we decided to get a train back, which unfortunately cost me an extra 10 pounds, but oh well. And again, as soon as we got back to the train station we met up with more friends who we didn't even know were staying behind from the bus like we did.
So anyway, I've been having a fun time here, met a nice number of friends. Oh! I am the youngest one here. I could swear, everybody is like 20 or more and I'm only a pathetic 18. Nah, it's not like it's a big deal but it's so funny! I'm so damn young! Ha ha.
Well anyway, I'm much to tired to give a detailed post of the going-ons so far. Plus I have a speech due tomorrow sumtime about 1:10pm that I haven't even really started on. So I must bid thee all adieu.
Adieu, until the next time I manage to make a post.

booty! (teh pirate kind that be)

2004-08-23T04:37:00.000-05:00

New link! That's right I have a new link up. It's a webcomic (what else) called Boussole and its genious...and gorgeous. Ya so go read it right now! It's filled with piratey goodness!! Yarr!
But now I have to go and die on my bed plesantly
....or attack my right big-toenail....

Believe we'll come to see in harmony

2004-08-22T20:13:00.000-05:00

I think that you never understand how important something is until you've lost it. That applies to so many things, I'm sure. Not to be sentimental or anything like that, I'm incredibly repulsed by sentimentalism. Regardless of if it's bad or not, I don't know what it is, it just puts me off incredibly. But I'm tired of having nothing to do. And of course, you being the avid reader of my posts that you are :P, you know what that really means to me.
Top 5 best theoretical concerts (at the moment of course)
1. The Beatles sometime in 69 or 70 during the Abbey Road and Let It Be sessions either outside in backyard or inside a little studio, like the one on Abbey Road for instance, but not during a recording just during a jam. (this one will always be first on this list)
2. Coldplay in a small pub in England some place before Rush of Blood but *just* before so they would throw in one or two of those songs that they would be "still working on"
3. Weezer either right after Pinkerton or before at some sort of normal venue, usual concertness.
4. The Strokes set up in the corner of a smoky pub (not that I smoke or like smoke but for some reason it should be smoky) before they hit it big in America playing stuff from Is This It?
and then hmm.... 5.
I have to make it a throw away at the moment because I'm not sure of what I would want to see after all these others but as of right now I'd like to see Carina Round play, practically anywhere.
Dammit, I want people to play music with!

01101000011001010110100001100101

2004-08-22T04:14:00.000-05:00

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01010110111000101110
you may need this to read this post...
http://www.nickciske.com/tools/binary.php
oh and be sure not to include all the hard returns, I had to include them otherwise the post would be off the screen.
Have fun! *evil smile*

sipping your caffiene alone

2004-08-20T21:47:00.000-05:00

I don't think there are many people who actually understand what the point of activity is. Bowling is not the point of bowling, nor is mini-golf, watching movies, going to coffee shops, or even going to a park. Although there is always...ok well mostly something in each of the activities (I say mostly because of things like clubs or other such nonsense) but the main point of an activity is *not* the activity. It is in fact the social aspect of it. Think about it the next time you go to a coffee shop, bowl, mini-golf, whatever it is you're doing outside your home. If you do it alone, think even harder about it. There is no satisfaction to bowling alone. There is no satisfaction to walking alone. There is no satisfaction to drinking coffee alone!! The absolute and obvious point is that we are social creatures and our entire purpose of being outside our homes revolves around being sociable. Unfortunately, as I started this post with, I don't think many people understand this. Suggestions of what to do are not brought up with the expectation of conversation or sociablitiy, more with the expectation of something to entertain all the people involved in the party and to keep from conversation having to be done. Which is against the point of activity in the first place!!! Bah, I'm frustrated with this society now.
I'm going to move to England! Ha!
Of course, it's not really going to be any better over there...
But that's beside the point!
Ok moving on, www.carinaround.com has a new video up for Let It Fall and oh my goodness I can't wait til I'm in England and will be able to buy this record. It's absolutely marvelous.
Besides that there's not much new...oh! I made up a new song but that isn't really that interesting. I would post the tabs for it but I'm afraid that if I do that it'll get stolen, not that it's that good, but that I'm paranoid.
Ok so in other news did you hear about the sinkhole in Mass that nearly swallowed a pregnant lady? Funny stuff.
Well that's about it, I'm in the mood to just start babbling off nonsense, and listening to facking aweseom music in japanese doesn't help. (I'm talking about The Pillows who you must instantly look up and listen to)
So I will leave this post as it is and go chat or just randomly type nonsense...maybe even a poem!
adieu

so sleepy

2004-08-19T01:18:00.000-05:00

Bah, what can I say? I'm tired and getting lazy right now. Tomorrow I'm going to have to pack pack pack like I have been. And plus this posting thing is bothering me because I am supposed to have a setting that automatically changes the text and it's colour and size and all but it's not working. I'm too frustrated and tired to bother with posting.
Meh...later maybe

i lied

2004-08-15T02:21:00.000-05:00

Ok, ok, I know I said I was going to sleep but I got caught up in a linking journey through more webcomics. Found some absolutely great ones. Check out Orneryboy and Return to Sender and this other one called...um... a softer life...or something. But ya have fun with those. I really do have to sleep now.
*edit at 2:23 AM* the one I couldn't remember is http://asofterworld.com

ooo

2004-08-15T00:42:00.000-05:00

Wow, I know, I know. It's been forever since I last posted. I just have been getting bored with the whole "oo wow i have my own website!!!11" thing. And plus I've been in Massachusets for the last few days. Although that's not really an excuse. Oh, and what with having to pack everything up. Ah well, no matter. It's time for me to stop making excuses and get back to posting often. But right now I have to go to sleep. I would stay up and chat but the person I was chatting with mysteriously dissapeared without warning....
Well, anyway. There's a new webcomic up in my little link section. Check it out, it's called "Wigu" and it may contain one of the best characters yet. Topato is hilarious. So anyway have fun with that...oh and all the other webcomics for that matter. They are really great. Unforunately some of the webcomics I like don't have link buttons on their site so not all the ones I like are actually there. But no worries, just look in the link sections of any of the webcomics that *are* on my site and you'll find plenty more.
So right...sleep....right....
bah oh well.
Goodnight all.

pack pack pack

2004-07-24T22:21:00.000-05:00

Bah, I am frustrated. I am packing away and suddenly I run out of boxes. Infuriating. I still have an entire wall of books to pack, let alone the random personal items I have still lying around. I think I will get more boxes from our downstairs storage and fill those up. I don't like to have to be stopped in the middle of something like this because I know that it will be a long time before I am up to packing again. So, hopefully, tonight I can get a chance to pack more. Hopefully...

odd randomosity

2004-07-24T04:17:00.000-05:00

Yup, another one. This one was *very* odd. Much I can't remember, so bear with the choppy description. The earliest thing I remember was getting the keys to my mum's car while we were in a rather empty parking lot at night and going to get the car. So I was drving but very poorly, I even messed up and went up onto a small hill, but that kind that separates different parts of a parking lot, not a real natural one. From there it seemed that we were in a sort of amusement park because things around the road seemed to be off that sort of look. And because there were go-carts in one section, that the road almost intercepted. Then there was one attraction that had a mascot, like some animal, and I remembered that I was going to buy a stuffed one or something, but I didn't. The thinking was that the mascot would be a funny but useful gift to my highschool, which is odd in itself. From there, we left the "park". Then there's a blank spot I can't remember, but somehow I ended up *at* this highschool, except it was this new year, and I was apparently going (which makes no sense as I just graduated) along with one of my close friends. The next remembrance was being in the main building of this school and everyone was watching a bunch of clips from movies, although I have no idea why. And then there was one clip that was supposed to be My Fair Lady but wasn't at all (you know how in dreams things are whatever you mind tells you they are, regardless of what they are). For some reason I was pointing out to my friend that it was a hilarious movie, basically that the clip we were watching did it no justice, the main character couldn't talk, it was great, really funny, etc. all of which is completely wrong, but again, whatever your brain says is reality in dreams, is. Well, anyway. After these movie clips we began to walk to the dorms. I should have noticed but I passed up girls on the way to what was the guy's dorm, which obviously isn't normal. Upon reaching the dorm, it was, as usual locked, and a group of guys hung out outside the doors, waiting for them to be unlocked (this is all normal custom at this highschool haha). Anyway, one of my friends here looked like he had been in jail or something as his hair was shaved down to almost nothing (although he had very short hair normally) and at first he was handcuffed. Of course, nothing stays one way in dreams, and he, very naturally, wasn't handcuffed the next second or so. We talked like old friends and he showed me a pellet gun he had that was very small, everyone near was raving about it. Of course, he wasn't supposed to have something like this, and it was being put away very slickly every once in awhile to keep it from the eyes of someone important, not sure who it was supposed to be. Then a woman came to the door from the inside, who everyone called "Mr." something, which made no sense to me. They treated her like they knew her already, and I think part of it was that they did, like they had prior experience with her. Then she said something like, "Time to go in," and I was concerned because it seemed like not everyone was there yet, there seemed to only be like 20 kids there, girls and boys. Which turned out to be everyone, in fact. Then we went inside I think, but wherever we ended up it wasn't really the dorm (again, one of those dream things). We were in a classroom, but first we were lining up for something, and I ran back with one of my friends to the end of the line. After the line, some girl I don't know accused me of calling her "Belle" or "Bell", (I know! So odd!!) which I didn't remember, but she assured me was true, so I apologized, but I don't think she was satisfied. Then we went over to the actual classroom and I found a widely distributed publication from the religion that this school was based under (SotT for those who wonder) on the desks, as if they were going to be used as textbooks. Then we began to watch a movie, that was one of those corny films, that I can't really describe well right now. Religious in nature, but a sentimental religious type film. It's hard to describe, one has to have seen these things to understand what I mean. I was attempting to joke with someone about the movie's crappiness but everyone seemed to like the movie perfectly fine, or just not mind it.
That's pretty much all I can remember.
bloody dreams, make no sense

Fiercly Battled

2004-07-23T22:29:00.000-05:00

Alas, I fall.
I speak to thee with the tongue like
the bird chirps with the beak. But
the bird can harmonize in such
melodious tones that human chords
are not able to produce. I am
reduced to mutterings and groans
for my speech, coupled with clicks
and ticks of the teeth and tongue,
meeting eachother as swords: for
what is our tongue but a sword?
We use it to cut, shear, and tear
people down. And I fall, I put down
my sword, I give up the fight, I
cease to evade my foe's attacks
and feel the burn of steel whipping
through my skin. Death knocks at
my door and I let him enter.

Carry On

2004-07-23T22:14:00.000-05:00

    I dry my eyes and fight the lies that carry lives into demise
    stand up and carry those who fall and tear down walls and love them all
    embrace the darkness, lonliness and guilt and shame and fear of this
    pick up the blame and wear it proudly on my shirt as proof of pain
    sleep nights of tears and days of fears and turn the gears
    and turn the gears

links!

2004-07-22T23:32:00.000-05:00

No, not the thing one eats for breakfast...
WEBPAGE LINKS!
yay! Well, I added a ton of links today. Hopefully none of the sites don't want me to. But I'm sure that if I'm not supposed to link to them then they'll tell me. Well, have fun checking out my favorite webcomics and some of my favorite bands! I'll post something else cool later.
Wow, a cool post? That would be a first....

Spector

2004-07-21T14:33:00.000-05:00

    Numbers take up all my space,
    all the space within my mind.
    And all else shall take it's place
    at the proper time.

    But everytime it hones in view
    I lose my current focus.
    Forgetting all the things I knew,
    pushed out of my solace.

    Words can take up all the space,
    some which are not mine.
    Even though it seems a waste,
    a waste of precious time.

    But when I see it coming near
    my words all seem to hide,
    all the words I hold so dear,
    when it hits my eyes.

    Music swallows up my soul,
    puts me in another time,
    leaves me with an empty hole;
    I've lost something of mine.

    But then I see it once again,
    it swallows up my sight.
    I go completely blind and then
    I cannot find the light!

random strangeness

2004-07-21T13:55:00.000-05:00

This one I have barely any recolection of.
I remember I was climbing on roofs (or is that rooves? haha) and there was a rope that I had to climb. That's pretty much all of the first one.
But then I went back to sleep and I can remember a little more of this one. I was at some kind of museum. But thre were lots of doors. For some reason I had to open them to find the way out. It was a maze, in other words. I was with somebody who I don't remember now. We had apparently gotten separated from our group, which I think was my old high school but I'm not sure. Anyway, one of these doors led to the exit, we knew, but which one it was, we didn't. It was getting kind of desperate because we knew that the group would be leaving soon but we couldn't find the way out. At some point my friend ran off because they seemed to know where they were going and I was using some sort of electronic device to record which ways they were taking (it was very weird) but they got too fast for me to keep up with entering the data so I lost track of them. So then I was stuck on my own in this maze and I couldn't find my way out. I think I woke up after that but I can't remember any more of it anyway.
bloody dreams, make no sense

creepy.....

2004-07-20T21:31:00.000-05:00

I just looked at the time (haha) I posted the two previous posts. EXACTLY (at least according to the website) 12 hours difference. Neato!

time to shut up

2004-07-20T21:01:00.000-05:00

Time is an odd thing. How do we know what time it is? There is no moment, we can not say that we are actually *at* 9:05 and 37 seconds, because a second is longer than a moment. We would have to carry the decimal out but that can go on forever and never reach a place where we can say without a shadow of a doubt that it is the moment's time. So in reality, there is no actual moment in time, because our measurements are *spans* of time. Like points in geometry. They don't really exist. They are all in theory. Well, that's all interesting but it's confusing me. What I can say for sure is that we can never see the present. We live in the past. Is it because the present doesn't exist? Think a moment. Count five seconds and then snap your fingers at the fifth second. Well, you probably ignored counting zero and counted to four in reality, so you're already off time. Also, you didn't count accurately, I'm sure so you're off again. But you used a clock lets say. OK, so your count was within a certain degree of accuracy, although even clocks are off. Let's ignore this and pretend they aren't. So you have a perfect counting mechanism now sitting by you that has counted 5 real seconds and then you snap your fingers. Sucess? No, again. First, the light from the clock's hand or LCD or whatever it is takes a certain, negligable but there, amount of time to reach your eyes. Then your brain takes a certain amount of time to make sense of the light bouncing off your retina. Time is taken to translate this into electrical signals and time is taken to move these signals from your eyes to your brain and then tie is taken to make sense of the signals. Even further time is taken to set off the right neural sparks to make you realise that the "time" has arrived. And *then*, time is taken for you to think, "Oh, snap fingers now!" Then even more time is taken to send this signal to your fingers and even more time to actually make the fingers do it. By the time this has all happened, you are surely innacurate. Simply the fact that light takes time to move, regardless of how short that span of time is, is proof that we have no knowledge of the present. We can surely feel very close but, never actually be in it. Our minds and our conciousness exists in the past. Odd thought isn't it? Rather strange isn't it that we live purely in history. Makes you realize how important that class is now, eh? Ha ha.
That's all from me about such confusing things. I still don't know if I believe that there even is a present but I know that regardless, we don't have the capability to know it.

Dvorak

2004-07-20T09:01:00.000-05:00

*Dances retartedly*
blah la la de da, I don't really want to post
music is good
Slavonic Dances op. 46
*happy dance of slavonic dance music by Dvořák*
Theres a happy dance for everything. Someone once told me this, so I pass the knowledge on to you. Remember it well!

prize!

2004-07-19T23:03:00.000-05:00

ooo!
TWO poems for the price of one!
Be happy folks!

Chill

2004-07-19T23:01:00.000-05:00

    It's only the wind, dear, wailing outside.
    I'm still right here, dear, open your eyes.
    I'm holding you tight,
    I know it caused a fright.
    It's only the wind dear, lets both say goodnight.

Move!

2004-07-19T22:56:00.000-05:00

    People I would like to meet
    Standing there across the street
    But the fear of being hit
    By passing cars will not permit
    Me to awake and walk across
    Oh such a pain at such a loss