Reluctant Air Travel

As you may notice, I have finally finished reading The Idiot by Fyodor Dostoevsky (if you care to know, it was sad and tragic as well as depressingly plausible to boot).
I did this in the first leg of my sadly obligatory journey back to the non-home of Chicago. Which was unfortunate because it turned out that I had another 6 hour long leg still to go. And Peg ran out of juice after the first hour of that.
Speaking of Peg, while she was still good and running I finally listened to and liked the new Coldplay X&Y. Not that I didn't expect it, it just finally happened. But as to specifically the title track X&Y, I was half asleep and half day-dreamed half night-dreamed that I was in a little plane that flew into a billboard and I fell to the ground as the burning fuselage floated about me, watching some guy scream to his death a little in front of me. All the while the chorus of X&Y playing, somehow eerily appropriate sounding: enough to make me not afraid at all but more completely absorbed with the feeling of it all.
I swear I'm not morbid.
It's not like during my trip to Portland I considered how perfect it would have been if the plane crashed because I was talking with the people to either side of me and had made a lame connection. Psh, what do you take me for? Some sort of...morbid person?
Also, if you've ever been in a plane on the runway while it is bucketing rain outside tell me you weren't extremely concerned for a brief instant as creepy white smoke poured in from the walls and ceiling.

Staying up til 7am is the way to go!

Don't you stay up til 7am? Why not? Are you sick?
If you have DSL/Cable/anything not dialup I would highly reccomend seriously considering buying a microphone for your computer and getting rid of your phone. MSN or Skype does the same thing but FOR FREE.
I bet you feel like a sucker now. Having paid for your phone service. Psh, chump.
The next form I have to fill out that asks for my home phone number I am totally going to put in my Skype user name.

"I just want to enjoy myself"

"What do you mean you, 'pass out after 6 beers'?
You're such a girl...
I'm trying to help you see you're wasting your life..."

he says as a myriad of flies beat against the window, longing for a chance at feasting on the rot, teasingly close, sitting inside with a smile.

(see the original writing)

"What not to say on a first date"

Who honestly needs to be told not to discuss "kink" on the first date? Who would want to all of a sudden leap into a discussion of how eating apricot jelly out of someone's toes totally turns you on...with a stranger at that.

"Could you pass me the ketchup?"
"Sure thing, hey, speaking of...I know we've only known eachother for like a few hours, but I would love to smear some all over you and slowly lick it off. Kinda gets me off"

Oh yeah, you've totally got a chance now, buddy. And even if she's into it and you do have one, the fact still remains that youre both sex-craving maniacs.
I swear, America is just one big, horny teenager.

(this was in response to an article in a newspaper telling what not to say on a first date)
(see the original writing)