Lapse in thought

So my days of waking up and thinking, "How can I fill this empty day ahead of me?" are over. So my days of equating bright sunshine and warmth as a walking-day are done.
I go downtown to be around people. To be there. Does that make sense?
I go to just be there because it's somewhere.
I wake up to wake up and be alive and when it's a nice day I go and enjoy it and I smell it and I breathe it. And when I'm walking somewhere I feel alive. But not to nowhere, I walk somewhere and I make it there and I've done something today. I went somewhere and I was there and it was a nice place and then I went somwhere else. I tasted this and smelled this and read this and listened to this and saw this. I live sensually: taking advantage of what we can sense and so going out and sensing it.
Ah, but that is momentarily over. I am working. I am getting up at a time that I've been told to get up at and going somwhere to do things that I am told to do.
And it's ok. But eventually I am going to go back to waking up when I feel it and doing what I feel and listening to the world speak in it's various ways.
And I will sow seeds.
And I will tend my garden in peace and watch my seeds grow into beautiful plants.
And be happy.